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“I understand,” she says. She looks away for a second as she dashes the tears from her cheeks. “But I want you to know this isn’t what I want. This wasn’t supposed to happen, Keir. You promised me you’d be by my side through this entire ordeal, but now—”
Her voice breaks and I have to stop myself again from reaching out for her. Caving to my emotions now will only make things worse.
I have to be resolute. I have to tell her that I don’t want her, which is not the full truth. It’s just easier for her to understand and more likely to make her leave.
God, I’m a fucking bastard. I narrow my eyes at her and adopt a hostile tone.
“I know what I promised,” I say. “But our situation has changed since then. I didn’t have all the facts I have now.”
Her eyes are wet and her cheeks are streaked with tears when she turns back to look at me. “Is this because of last night? Because of my ex? That’s why you’re kicking me out?”
Now it’s starting to feel more like one of our regular fights. “I already told you what it’s about. I have to fight for custody of my daughter and I can’t fight as effectively with you here.” I hesitate a moment before adding, “We would have ended up here eventually after last night. I can’t let someone stay in my home if I don’t trust them.”
She recoils as if she’s been slapped. “After all the shit we’ve been through together? After all the time I’ve spent with Isla? Withyou? You’re really going to stand there and say you don’t trust me anymore? Really?”
I can’t stop to think about it. If I stop to think, I’ll start to question my decision, and that can’t happen. Isla is depending on me.
“That’s right,” I nod. I’m doing my best to keep all these conflicting emotions out of my voice, but I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. “Whatever we had is over, Ella. Let’s not make this harder than it needs to be. You can pack tonight and say goodbye to Isla. I’ll have someone drive you to the airport first thing in the morning.”
She blinks. “So just like that? It’s really over?”
“Just like that.” I swallow hard and turn to walk out of her room. “It’s really over.”
I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment as I close the bedroom door behind me, then I lean against the door frame and take a deep breath. The soft sound of her crying on the other side of that door feels like a knife to the heart.
Even now, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want her to leave.
What choice do I have, though? I’ve already lost her. I lost whatever I thought we had the second that Kinsley called.
I can’t afford to lose Isla, too.
