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Taking a deep breath, I hit send and uploaded the post to Kitten Around’s classified ad page.
Not two minutes later, my first response arrived, and I smiled.
Must be my girl was on the ball tonight.
I clicked it open with a smile.
CatMama1987
Listen, sicko, I don’t know what kind of cat parent you are, but chocolate is toxic to cats! So you should stop looking for your weirdo fetish cat and learn how to really take care of your pet. Now get off this site!
I laughed so hard I almost sprained something. Just like a year ago tonight, someone was getting chided on Kitten Around’s classified page—except this time it was me. There was a fine irony to that.
For almost an hour, I cycled through my many mostly disparaging replies. Then the one I was waiting for finally arrived. That I’d had to text her to tell her she might need to see something in Kitten Around’s classified section was hardly the point.
She’d replied.
PrGldnrod
Desperately seeking Clitty
Aren’t you supposed to be helping me pack, not searching for pieces of hot kitten @ss online? Don’t tell me you’re one of those men.
P.S. Where are these supposed pictures?
With a laugh, I searched through the photos I’d taken earlier after my shower and sent over a few that only hinted at naughty things. The more personal variety would be sent through instant messenger so Theresa at Kitten Around didn’t have access to them. I had some scruples.
Enough that I quickly moved this conversation off Kitten Around’s server to text Kitty the pictures where I’d skipped the towel entirely and showed off my tattoos with only water droplets to obscure them…or other things.
I obviously couldn’t hear her shriek when she clicked open the image, but I could imagine it. The formerly non-noise-making Kitty had turned into a screamer in bed and a shrieker when she found things funny or scandalous or sexy.
That photo was all three.
My cell went off a minute later and I answered right away.
“Seriously? I’m covered in dust and have fur all over my pants from crawling around trying to clean up the baseboards and you’re sending me dick pics? Nice palm fronds, by the way.”
She so loved my palm fronds tattoos. Though I think she’d hoped for a better explanation for why I’d gotten them than “one night I was drunk and sick of cold weather, so I was thinking of being on a beach.”
“I missed my chance to send you a dick pic last year, so I didn’t want to miss another anniversary of you looking for pussy.”
“If I’m looking for pussy, why are you sending me dick?”
“Look, I’m harder than hell right now, save the puzzlers for after I’ve had your mouth on me.”
“Now you want me to stop cleaning just to sexually service you?”
“Yes.”
“Then where the hell are you? And where’s my milkshake?”
She had a point.
I looked at the time. “It’s not midnight yet.”
“Oh. Forgot you’re adhering strictly to your wicked little plan, though we didn’t meet around midnight that first night.”
“Because you clicked off on me and didn’t contact me again for days.”
