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“This is massive,” Rachel says with her head stuck out the window. I see a few horses running through the training gate with men trying to corral them. All of them giggle at the scene, tickled that these young foals are giving these men heck.
“Those are my new foals, Calamity and Jane. They are sisters, born from the same stallion but different mares within two weeks of one another.”
“They are beautiful,” Hannah says.
“They really are,” I repeat. His hand grips mine, making me look at him.
“Thank you,” he says intertwining our fingers. This is the most intimate I have ever been, and it feels unfamiliar but comfortable. Jasper parks the car in front of his home, and I can’t help but gasp. “Welcome home,” he says to all of us. I am so busy staring at this massive mansion that I don’t realize he is holding my door open until he leans close to my ear and whispers. “Do you like it?” His breath touches me, and I close my eyes with my lips mashed together to stop the unruly noise that is threatening to evacuate my throat and is right now wreaking havoc inside of me. This man is dangerous to my restraint.
Instead of acting like a sin walker, I nod my head and attempt a normal smile. “I do.” Something in his eyes dims a bit and once again I feel I messed up, but I don’t know what I did or said and how I could have changed it. So, I get out of the car and walk toward the front door.
“Can you believe we get to live here?” Lavinia says with a squeal as we walk into the house.
I don’t know why I keep repeating the day in my head when I should be in the moment. This moment.
After the reception is over, we walk up the winding staircase and he begins showing each of my sisters one by one to their rooms. Apparently they each have their own room with an ensuite bathroom inside of them. Each one of my sisters is ecstatic and bounces in their rooms promptly shutting their doors, leaving me and Jasper alone.
We walk further down the hallway and up another set of stairs. “This is the northern wing of the house. My great grandparents dubbed it the marital wing. There is one on the far side of the wing with its own sitting room and bathroom and then there is one that has the same setup,” he explains as he opens the final door, and I am a bit confused. I am about to ask him where his room is, when he announces, “And this is our room.” I spin around looking at his face stunned and terrified.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” All I heard was now time for you to do your womanly duty. I am sure that is not what he said, but by God how am I supposed to be in a room with a stranger I am married to and am obviously having untapped feelings for?
“This is our room,” he says again but with less enthusiasm. My head begins to shake before I know what I am saying, and I start backing up away from him. He reaches out to me calling my name. “Sadie…” He is trying to say something else, but I find myself chanting over and over again.
“No. No. I can’t.” Turning like my dress is on fire, I run down the stairs to Lavinia’s room since it is the first one I come to. I knock and when she says come in, I am not surprised to find all of them in there.
“Sadie, what's wrong?” Ada asks, walking over to me. I explain to them what happened.
“You said no?” Lavinia repeats, looking at me like I have somehow spoken a language she doesn’t know. “You can’t say no. You are his wife.”
“She can say no, Vini. That is one of the good things about being in the English world. Here we have rights,” Hannah states, crossing her arms.
“Well, yes but she is his wife. As his wife she should be in their marital bed,” Rachel argues.
“Listen,” Miriam says, grabbing my hand and holding it. “You chose to come here and do this, Sadie. You don’t have to lay with him as a wife right now, but show him you are really trying. Plus, at least you don’t have to sleep with a plank between you.” Smiling through the tears, I nod my head.
“All of you are right. I think I am just nervous about what happens eventually. What if I am not good at it?”
“All of us have that issue. I suggest after shopping tomorrow, we go to the library and do some research. Learn what we couldn’t learn. How does that sound?”
“That sounds like a good idea.” They all form a circle and hug me at the same time.
“So you are going to share a room with him?” Rachels asks.
“Yes. How else am I going to get used to him.” They all nod. Taking a deep breath and feeling better, I get up and walk out of the room. I stand in front of the door for a second more and pull my shoulders back. “You chose this, Sadie. Time to jump in with both feet.” Here goes nothing.
ChapterSeven
Jasper
I stand in our bedroom, in shock. She just walked away from me. Ran away is more like it. She ran like she was afraid of me and that’s the last damn thing that I want. While my body is demanding that I sink nine inches deep inside her surely luscious cunt, I would never force her to do something she doesn’t want to do nor would even ask her to perform any kind of wifely duty hours after meeting her. I do, however, want her in our space, getting used to me. I don’t think it’s such a crime that I can’t physically sleep with my wife. It will be hellacious not touching her, but I’m a grown man, I can keep my hands to myself. I ridiculously had visions of us lying in bed at night getting to know one another. Talking about our days and our hopes for the future. I thought about it for sure, but I didn’t know exactly how much I wanted that until she walked out of the room. God, that stung more than I thought it would.
I had bought her a dresser, but if this tiny bag is all she has in the world, she won’t fill a single drawer. I want to take her shopping. I want her to have everything she’s ever desired and then some. I meant what I said when I said that I wanted to take care of her. She’s mine now. God gave her to me, and I mean to keep her.
Moving to the dresser, I set her bag down and open it. All that is inside is a Bible, three dresses, and four plain bras and four pairs of white cotton panties… Those panties shouldn’t be so fucking sexy, but they are. I place her undergarments in the top right-hand drawer of the dresser. I take her bag into the closet, hang up the dresses on her side of the closet, and store the bag. Bible in hand, I walk back out into the bedroom and place the Good Book on her nightstand. I’m just setting it down when the bedroom door opens again. I turn to find Sadie standing there. The hall light is backlit behind her. She looks like a freaking angel.
“Jasper?” she asks, staying in the doorway. She looks like she’s been crying, and I hate that I caused that. That is not what I wanted for our wedding night.
“Sadie?” I ask, suddenly nervous as hell that she’s going to ask for a divorce already. I haven’t even told my parents or my brother that I got married but I can’t let her leave me. I know that I’m meant to be her husband. I was born to love her, and I intend to do just that. She can’t leave me; I don’t think I’d survive it. What has she done to me?
