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I rise from the kitchen chair and approach him. “I’m not, but you should be. I was out of line to question your relationship.”
His chest heaves, tension coming off in waves. Staring at his bare feet. Tapping his foot on the floor. Tangling his fingers.
My hand lands on his shoulder. “You okay?” Even a less trained eye can see that something’s wrong, but his confusion befuddles me.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he shoots me a sideway glance. “I need more coffee and probably a splash of rum!” He winks and goes to open the kitchen cabinet under the sink. “Ta-da!” He holds the bottle by the neck and swings it between us, his beautiful smile back on display. “Want some?” I nod. He twists off the cap and pours some in each mug. I grab the hot coffee pot to complete the task at hand.
We clink mugs, and before I can stop myself, I tease, “As much as I want to enlighten you on your rum selection, we’ll save that conversation for later, okay?”
His mouth forms a cute and questioning O as we walk to the couch. “What’s wrong with this brand?” he inquires and carefully slides to the hardwood floor as I drop on said couch. “Should I remind you that I’m from Martinique? Rum is kind of our thing. Later...” I wink.
Ash turns so that we face each other. Wondering why he chose the floor, I stay silent, waiting for him to go first. Slowly sipping on his non-Irish coffee, he stares down and mumbles, “Sooo… I unearthed Alex on Tinder while searching for guys with similar tastes.” His voice is strangled as he switches positions again, kneeling, and relaxes after releasing an audible sigh. His eyes catch mine. “Let’s say that we complete each other in ways that some could find… deviant, maybe?”
“Deviant?” I swallow the rock that clogs my windpipe, and my body goes rigid for all the wrong reasons. Trust me, I don’t give a flying fuck about what goes on between consenting adults, and I’m far from a bore in bed, but this is Ash we’re talking about. “What the hell are you talking about?” I manage to ask, then shake my head.
“Listen, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. You asked and… Oh my God! You should see your face right now!” The corner of his mouth quirks up, and he takes a large gulp. “Relax, will you?”
Speechless, I swig the contents of the mug in the blink of an eye. The rum goes straight to my head, and I welcome the distraction.
“To sum it up, Alex’s a dom.”
“I wouldn’t say that’s deviant. Different, maybe?” is all I can blurt out. He holds my gaze and waits for me to say something. Anything. Finally, a puzzle piece falls into place. “Like the Red Room of Pain?”
This earns me a snicker. “Yes… Minus the Red Room.” I narrow my gaze, and he explains in an even tone, “There’s a thin line between pleasure and pain. I enjoy crossing that line with someone who shares my views.” He shrugs.
“And Alex is that person.”
“Right.”
“Sorry if I’m being too blunt, but if Alex fulfills your desire, what the hell are you doing here? With me? And where the hell is he?”
“Well, we’ve been having a… disagreement lately.” I frown. “It has nothing to do with you.”
“I beg to differ. Your boyfriend isn’t my biggest fan; if I remember correctly, he hated that I gave you mouth-to-mouth. I don’t know the first thing about Dom/sub dynamics, but your man seems possessive. Does he know I’m here?”
“He knows. And, for the record, like in any type of relationship, the dynamics aren’t one size fits all.”
“Okay, maybe you can enlighten me on the basics later, but let’s stay on track. We were talking about your man. I’m thrilled to hear that he didn’t veto my presence.” I refrain from kicking the leg of the sofa.
“I’m allowed to have friends, you know, gay or not, just like he is. I met his two closest friends soon after we became official. Aric owns a couple of bars in the area. As for Noah, he’s more secretive, but he’s busy with his teenage son…” He slaps his forehead with his palm. “Damn, I’m rambling again. Why didn’t you stop me?”
“Why would I? I’m here to listen.”
He nods, thoughtful. “Anyway, what I meant to say is that I don’t have to ask for permission. Alex may not approve of what he deems a kiss—”
This time, I have to interrupt. “So much so that he didn’t want to meet me then and still doesn’t. Oh well, I’m not eager to meet him either, to be honest.”
“I hear you. Alex thinks that I’m attracted to you.”
“Why would he think that? And again, why let me stay here if your dom has suspicions?”
“He’s my boyfriend first and also hasn’t processed the ‘kiss’ that saved my life.” He air quotes the word. “He’ll come around. He’s brilliant, but trust me, his foul mood is all on me.”If you say so!He clears his throat, then his blue-grey eyes bore into my quizzical ones. “If you must know… he wants me to move in with him, and I’m not ready.”
“But if you guys get along on many levels and you’re his submissive, shouldn’t you”—I hesitate—“submit?”
“Submissive does not mean puppet. We established some ground rules when we met. It helps… center me. You have no idea how freeing it is to hand over the reins to someone else. It may sound odd, but surfing has the same effect. I focus to a point where the rest of the world disappears.”
“Hmm… That reminds me of my photography. Who would have thought?”
