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What?My throat constricts, andI choke.
Since when do you tell strangers how we roll? Unless…
Nah, Alex knows how territorial I am and so is he. Before I can think it through, I open my mouth.
“Quiet,” roars Alex. One-word sentences aren’t a good omen. They usually signal his desire to test my boundaries. Not that I mind; I’ve been taught well, which thickened my skin to achieve maximum pleasure, but I’m in way over my head. A cold shiver runs down my spine and my face flames at his command. I need to be on my best behavior.
Sensing the tension, Jason suggests in a low yet commanding voice, “Let’s all sit down, enjoy dinner, and get to know each other better.”
We gather around the table, and my unanswered questions run rampant. I’ve never seen Alex defer to anyone. Not in our personal life. Not with his coworkers. Not at a work function... where he’s always been open about his sexual orientation.
My eyes meet Alex’s for the briefest moment, but it’s enough to make him purse his lips. I witness his left hand twitch. That’s usually my cue to disrobe and prepare for the relentless punishment that I crave in the form of red marks on my ass. The more the leather belt hits my rear end, the more my pleasure builds. And now, I’m getting hard just at the mere thought of it. I catch my breath, readjusting myself as discreetly as possible since Alex doesn’t accept my arousal without his prior approval. His scowl betrays his irritation.
My breathing becomes shallow as confusion overwhelms me. He wants to show me the error of my ways. I need to be reunited with him this way. Myheart twists as I wonder whether he’ll spank me in front of this guy. That would be a first, but as far as I can recall, we never discussed being watched.
When I finally cast my eyes down, I swiftly take notice of the small smile on my lover’s face and slacken in relief, then bite the inside of my cheeks to avoid asking inappropriate questions.How dare he!
The premise of this dinner disturbs me, but for now, I put on my poker face and keep quiet. Alex wishes us a “Bon appétit,” and we dig in after the first bite reaches his sexy mouth.Are you speaking French to impress your guest?
Although my eyes never leave my plate, my hair stands on end as they stare at me. The two of them make small talk about food, Europe, and the stock market, completely excluding me.
At last, Alex’s piercing eyes flick my way. “So, Ashton… Jason will be training you for a couple of weeks starting tomorrow. I’ve spoken with Mister Silverstone regarding a leave of absence.”
What? He talked to my boss?
Air vacates my body and so does my appetite. I carelessly drop my silverware, my fists so tightly balled that they hurt. Not the good kind.
How dare Alex do this without consulting me first!
“I used all of my vacation days for our trip to Bali. I can’t drop everything to work out.”
Alex’s bitter laugh echoes. “Oh, Ashton! Don’t be so naïve. You’re in perfect shape. Jason came highly recommended and has been kind enough to clear his schedule for you.” My boyfriend mouths a silent thank you in Jason’s direction and returns his attention to me. “I’m sure he’ll be able to help you embrace your role and correct your recent transgressions. You still have so much to learn. Now, be good and make me proud.”
His voice is calm and detached, but I don’t miss the icy undertone. God forbid he lose face in front of this Jason guy. At last, the ugly truth registers as I absorb his humiliating words; my hands clench into white-knuckled fists. He lets out an exasperated groan. “I’m doing this for us. Don’t throw a tantrum!”
I can’t do this—or us—anymore. Bolting from my chair, I sprint out of the room. Out of the situation. Out of his life. His commands that I return are white noise.
As I grab the door handle to my freedom, I hear him raise his voice from the living room to be heard. “If you leave, don’t think I’ll allow you to show your face here again, Ashton. I won’t take you back if you do this.”
What doesn’t Alex Dennett get? We agreed on hard limits, and this isn’t how to get past them.
In case I didn’t understand his threats, he strikes again for good measure. “You’re such a disappointment.” Words that Silas could have spoken years ago. I can’t believe I never saw the resemblance between the two.
“I don’t care, Alexander. I don’t owe you anything, but hear me out.” I take a big breath to put the brakes on my runaway thoughts. “You probably guessed that Silas is my ex. The first man that I ever cared for and who took my virginity. The first man who introduced me to the lifestyle you and I share. The first man who betrayed my trust in ways that I never could have expected.” Alex opens his sexy mouth to speak, but my glare orders him to keep quiet. Despite his visitor. Despite my rebellion. Despite my submissiveness. “You were the second man I fell for, and in the end, you two are one and the same. I should have learned from my mistakes! But you know what? Nightmares are overrated: You and Silas aren’t worth it. The rules that we agreed upon no longer suit me. I’m suffocating for reasons that I didn’t sign up for.” Hand on the doorknob, I stare at him before he can strike back and say the one word that he’s not expecting. Not here. Not now. Not ever. My safe word.
“Utah.”
CHAPTER13
I’LL BE WAITING
Nino
“So you’re going to do what? Surprise him?” Garcia rolls the final short-sleeved T-shirt into a tight cylinder, squats, and places it with the other four packed into my minuscule carry-on that’s splayed between us on my bedroom’s creaky hardwood floor. Settling on the end of my neatly made bed, my chatty friend pauses. Ever since revealing my purchase of a one-way ticket to the US over dinner last night, she’s expressed mixed feelings.
“I guess.” Crouching, I take a quick glance at her before jamming my minimal toiletry bag in the stuffed suitcase. Her simple question makes me reconsider my entire plan. Again. “Humpf…” I spent last night pondering my decision and tossing and turning through strong thunderstorms. It’s a miracle that I can follow her train of thought and articulate somewhat coherent replies.
Her palms land on her thighs. “Right! Dress up as Barney Stinson when you crash his Halloween party, why don’t you? ”
