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“I have.”
CHAPTER25
BILINGUAL
Ash
Almost five months have passed since my amazing boyfriend’s birthday. Five months where I managed to find excuses to steer clear of the club but kept quiet about the presence lurking in the shadows. Five months where Nino didn’t push for an explanation for my knee-jerk reaction. Five months where Nino and I strengthened our bond. My French addiction reassured me that I wasn’t obligated to share more than I wanted. That’s the least I could have done, right?
Well, I didn’t; I couldn’t.
My whole body froze when the ghost passed us. His head swiveled, and our eyes locked for an instant. My heart sputtered while my traitorous dick stiffened. Humiliation washed over me as if I were eighteen again. All of these years later, my body betrayed me by surrendering to the man I was head over heels for, once upon a time. The realization thathestill holds so much power over me is gut-wrenching.
Talk about the past colliding with the present!
A ghost. A memory. A nightmare, rather. That dreaded moment at the club is long gone, but the turmoil remains. Every single day, I wake up quivering in a cold sweat, although my haunting nightmares have yet to return as if Nino’s presence somehow shields me from them.
Why can’t I shake the memory of Silas from my overthinking mind?
His aloof expression. My unshakable dread. Our silent acknowledgment. Over time, I convinced myself that the ghost wasn’t Silas, that the darkness and distance played tricks on me.After all, after we finished our online shopping on Black Friday, Uncle Brad mentioned that his neighbor informed him that Silas was currently a Sydney resident. Looking at Tom’s face, I could tell his reaction to this piece of news matched mine: Good riddance!
Right…
Silas and I haven’t been an item for almost a decade, and I naively convinced myself that I’d never hear from him again and our paths wouldn’t cross again. I bet Nino didn’t miss my tremble when someone uttered the Sanchez name in passing during our short stay at my uncle’s for Thanksgiving, but I took notice that Tom made a point not to.
I’m such a coward for not mentioning my paranoia—or much—about Silas!
I feel guilty for keeping my mouth shut about the ghost from my past. Nino has literally saved me in more ways than one, but he hasn’t claimed that I owe him. He’s encouraged me to trust my gut and accepts me, scars, kinks, and all. None of my prior beaus did.
That night at the club, I was seconds away from blurting out the three-word sentence. Only, experience has made me wary. Furthermore, Nino’s views on love gave me cold feet. Back when we were long-distance friends, he confessed that commitment was a foreign concept.
What am I to him?
“You okay?” Nino’s concerned tone snaps me out of my thoughts.
I keep my back to him, close my eyes, and breathe deeply until I’m ready to face him without wearing my emotions on my sleeve.
I used to be a master at concealing my emotions, courtesy of Alex and Silas’s education. Why did I have to pick up this particular trait from Nino? It makes me so vulnerable…
“Hmm?” I slowly turn my head. My gaze flicks to his. A cold sweat runs down my spine, and I regret being shirtless since he might notice. It feels as if I’ve been caught cheating since Silas occupies too many of my recent thoughts.
“You’re lost inside your head again.”Yeah, I’m that obvious!“It’s been happening more often lately, so I was wondering if you were okay. Spending time at the gym usually helps clear your mind, doesn’t it?” He remains on the threshold, giving me space. He’s so considerate.
Once I pace myself, I take him in. My pulse trips over itself. With the buzz cut he’s been sporting for a couple of months, his mesmerizing eyes and sharp cheekbones stand out. As for his impressive physique, even in gray sweatpants and an undershirt, he’s sex on legs.
How did I get so lucky? Why am I letting my past cloud my present?
My heart swells and so does another part of my anatomy. My dirty mind takes over; I’m insatiable these days.
I squeeze my throbbing dick through my gym shorts. The need to drop to my knees and suck him dry overwhelms me. Getting lost in him and the sensations he evokes in me is one of my favorite pastimes. But I do no such thing.
Instead, I focus on my boyfriend rather than the salad I’m fixing. Nino hates packing with a passion, and this trip to the Dominican Republic for a last-minute gig worsens his annoyance. The irony thatmydom was asked to sub for a sick photographer friend isn’t lost on us. Still, he deserves my full attention. I stop chopping the iceberg lettuce to add to the ingredients inside the giant bowl; I’ve been so preoccupied that I forgot to do this first. “I’m cranky because you’re going away.” I’m not even lying. “I miss you already.” I hate that my voice cracks. “Working out only gave me sore muscles. Don’t mind me.” I resume cutting the iceberg. “I’ll survive.”
“Come on, you know me better than that,timal. That’s not how we work. I care about your well-being and you looked… disconnected.” He leans back on his heels and swallows audibly. “I know you can fix a salad on autopilot, but be careful, will you?” Taking a couple of steps, his arms circle my bare waist from behind. Once again, I stop making lunch to grab a towel and dry my hands. I throw the towel on the counter, then lean my head backward on his sturdy shoulder, his voice my own lullaby. “I wouldn’t want the ends of your deft fingers to join our appetizing Sunday salad… Especially when I can think of a zillion ways to put them to better use.”
He kisses the side of my neck. My eyes flutter shut as I sigh at my good fortune. Bliss replaces confusion. Soon enough, his teeth join the party, marking me for sure. Murmurs of approval escape my lips. His hold around me hardens, and his nose lingers in the sensitive area. “You smell so good.” His breathing falters, a clear indication of his wicked intentions. His tongue leisurely moves across the spots where he left marks. His steely length is lodged between my butt cheeks, and the fabric of our clothes is a useless barrier to the expression of our instant desire. I revel in how attuned we are to each other’s needs… Always have been.
I couldn’t be more grateful that Nino had the guts to show up at my doorstep. He claims that my reaction sealed the deal and sparked the rest. In the end, it doesn’t matter who initiated our current situation.
