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For a brief moment, I wonder if he might tell me he’s still not done. And in that moment, I don’t know how I might react.
“Get out,” I pant.
His dark expression shifts to confusion as he stares at me, motionless.
“Get,” I grit through clenched teeth, “out.”
He looks at me as if I’m crazy. But the confusion passes, and he grabs his clothes off the floor. Maybe I am insane, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend we’re okay when we’re not.
He doesn’t bother to dress, holding his clothes in his hands. Andrei is unashamed to be seen naked in his house while I pull myself up onto his desk, vaguely aware of the slickness left by our coupling. Cold hate replaces the passion in his eyes as he slams the door shut.
I want Andrei to tell me no and stay, but I’m thankful he doesn’t. I’m not ready to be devoured. He’ll leave nothing of me behind. If he touches me again, I’ll never fight back. He will own me completely.
I am crazy. I toss myself flat on the desk, bury my face in my ruined sundress, and feel the frustration turn into tears under the destroyed material. I pushed Andrei, so I can claim no responsibility for what we just did. I went after him until he couldn’t say no. I bullied him until I got what I wanted, then told him to get out.
Regret makes me ache. But if I beg Andrei to come back, then it just proves his point. But I want him. I want him to take everything from me and remold me into something different. Something powerful, dark, and vicious, just like him.
A storm of emotions swirls inside of me at the thought. Shame and desire stab at me from all sides. Shame makes me cry, knowing that this man will destroy my family and me, but I still want him. Desire makes me scream into the ball of fabric in my face, knowing that this isn’t enough.
Not for him. Not for me.
This isn’t love, and it can never be,I tell myself.Then why did I give in?
Because you’re a fool, Paige Reyes,my brain scolds me.You’re a fool who thinks she can tame a monster like him. Because deep down, youlikewhat he makes you. Youlikethe idea that he can protect you. Even when it flies against all reality.
I press my hands to my pussy, and his cum coats my fingers.It’s too late to worry about a condom now, Paige.
If I get pregnant, there’s no escaping this life. Not anymore. Not after this. I fall back on the desk, and insane laughter fills the room as I cover my face with my hands.
Like Persephone, I can never leave.
Chapter 52
Andrei
I hesitate outside the door, unsure if I should leave, and then I hear it. A low murmur that doesn’t sound like grief but madness. Behind our bedroom door, Paige starts to laugh loudly and wildly. It leaves me confused. I don’t know how to handle emotions like this. I don’t know how to handle her.
In the hallway, I quickly pull on my clothes and listen as her laughter grows louder. Instead of delicate chimes, it sounds like the clash of metal against metal, echoing out into the hall. It sounds foreign to me; the lightness is gone as it sounds a warning. Did I push her too hard? Of course I did. I always push too hard. Other Bratva women can take it. They expect it. But not Paige.
My hand rests on the doorknob; my fingers squeeze the smooth metal. I want to open the door, but I’m afraid of losing control. A pang of regret chokes my throat, and a knot of frustration tightens in my stomach. I want to be with her, but I don’t know how to handle the situation that’s left us here.
Paige laughs instead of crying over her losses, and she doesn’t want me to witness it.
I take a step back and bump into my mother, who has silently materialized. She scowls at the closed door, recognizing the sound for what it is—the beginnings of madness. I clench my jaw and watch my mother, waiting for her solidarity.
But instead of forgiveness and understanding, Eva glares at my bare feet. Then her gaze slowly rises over my body, taking in my disheveled appearance. Finally, a harsh and withering glare meets my eyes. A cold shiver attaches to my spine.
She’s looking at me as if I am my father.
I take a few steps back, and she steps forward to confront me. Her petite frame barely reaches my chest, but she refuses to cower anymore. She will say what she knows is right, and her determination reassures me. I can’t be evil. Eva would never have acted like this with my father.
“We must talk,” she says firmly, her voice low and resolute. Her eyes are full of disappointment, but they also flash with anger.
I stare at the doorknob.Get out! Paige screamed it until I left. She doesn’t want to see me now. I’m not her husband; I’m her captor.
Perhaps something even worse.
Mother turns away and leaves me alone with the mess I’ve created. The laughter emanating from the bedroom seems more unsettled than before. It continues gathering strength, and the closed door cannot conceal Paige’s shattering emotions. I take a deep breath, thankful my composure has returned, and slowly, I follow Mother down the hallway.
