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“You do more than you should, Paige.” He closes his laptop, cutting off the music. “I should be taking care of you.”
I smile. “I’m twenty-three. I don’t need to be taken care of.”
“You need to be doing more with your life than taking care of an old man.” The room is silent as we struggle with what to say that won’t hurt the other’s feelings. “Paige, I’m getting better. And I appreciate all the countless sacrifices you’ve made for me and your little sister. But … I just want to see you happy with your life. Don’t waste it on me.”
“I’m not wasting my life on you. And I am happy.” Avoiding his eyes, I whisper, “I just had a shitty day.”
Dad stands and moves slowly to his bedroom off the kitchen. I walk beside him, watching his steps and making sure he doesn’t stumble. He reaches his room without gripping onto my arm. I guess that’s progress. Him being able to walk on his own. Wow, our expectations have changed.
“Getting old ain’t for the weak, Paige.” He smiles as he sits down on his bed.
I try to smile. “Do you need anything?”
He waves me off. “I’m good. You go to bed.”
I shut the door slowly and can’t help feeling guilty. I should stay and help him, but I’m tired too. Images of people scattered lifeless across the floor won’t leave my mind alone. Breathing heavily, I close my eyes and try to shove my emotions down somewhere I can’t reach.
I tap on the door even though Emma and I shared our bedroom growing up. There’s no response, so I walk in. Emma is sitting cross-legged on her bed, earbuds stuck in her ears and her face illuminated by her laptop. She doesn’t look up until I sit on the edge of the bed.
Smiling, she yanks a bud out. “You look like you crawled home.”
I toss myself backward onto her bed, banging the top of my head on the wall.
She giggles. “You always do that, you klutz.”
I swat her bare thigh. “Do you mind? My day sucked. And I’m on my period.”
She closes the laptop and then sweeps her dark hair behind her ear. “What happened?”
“I broke up with Tim,” I reply guardedly.
Emma pulls a face. She never liked Tim, but she’s careful with her opinion after one particularly bad rant, which caused me to stick up for him. I defended my decision to date that loser by calling her immature. She has better taste in men than I will ever have.
“What brought that on?” she asks carefully.
“I caught him cheating on me.”
The look of surprise on her face gets me. I would be sharing this with my best friend if I had one. I’m too busy working to maintain a friendship. I shouldn’t be sharing gory details with my sixteen-year-old sister, but no one else knows me better. I start talking to keep me from mentioning the other thing.
“In my own bed, no less.”
Her eyes widen. “Were they naked?”
I give her a look and remind myself she’s sixteen. An innocent sixteen, thank God. “Yes, they were naked.”
Emma winces as if the thought of seeing naked people is gross. “Sorry, Paige. What an asshole. He’s such a dick. That’s not all, is it?”
I shake my head. “And there was a … shooting at the wedding.”
She’ll probably read about the shooting online in the morning. I need to talk about it. My voice softens. “Some guy there helped me. He saved my life.”
“That’s awful and sick.” Emma scoots over and sits beside me. “I could help more, Paige. I don’t mind getting a job. Delia says they’re looking for people to work behind the counter at the deli. It’s walking distance from the house. Or I can ask cousin Kenney about getting a desk job at the precinct. He’s been asking about Dad and wants to help.”
“No.” I sit up. “I want you to focus on school, so you can get a decent job that pays you what you are worth.”
“And what about you?” Her eyes harden. “You need help with Dad. I can take care of him too, you know.”
I bite my lip and don’t dare ask if she’s been in her room all day while he’s been sitting in the kitchen. Alone. She’s just a kid. And I want her to be a kid and not deal with all this shit. I remember what it was like after Mom left. How hard it was on Dad. How he lost the best job he’d ever had and had to make do with shit work plus pay her alimony.
