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Sonya flips her hair over her shoulder and asks, “Is it true you killed a man for your wife?”
“Who told you this?” I ask angrily.
“Paige is as much Bratva as I am, Andrushka.” She ignores my question. “Neither one of us possesses that mentality.”
“What mentality?”
“That of a cold-blooded killer.” Sonya lowers her tone. “And if you keep acting like this, you will turn her into something you don’t want, like Talia.”
I scoff. “Paige could never be like Talia.”
But as I say it, I recall Paige’s expression when she opened the box. I had expected Paige to recoil from the contents, and for a moment, I thought she would. But something shifted, and she acted like a Bratva wife would be expected to act. She was pleased with a trophy that was worth more to her than diamonds.
She acted just like Talia would.
“She’s been having nightmares since that day,” I reply.
“Are you surprised?” She asks back. “You gave her a box with a man’s severed finger.”
I don’t respond because she’s not wrong.
“You’re more like Vasily than our mother, Andrushka,” she sighs, “and it worries me.”
My anger rises again. “And I will remind you that I am a pakhan. That requires me to act a certain way. I cannot let emotions sway me away from making the right decision.”
“It’s a neat trick that you’re doing right now,” she says in a small voice. “Where you’re moving your lips, but Vasily’s words fall out.”
I eliminate the harshness in my voice. “I do what I can to shield Paige, but she is a part of something larger and more powerful than us. We all are, and to act as if it doesn’t exist would be fatal.”
Sonya looks down at her hands, and I leave my chair to stand beside her. She looks up, and I place a soft kiss on her forehead.
“Of course, you know best how to handle the situation. But …” she pauses.
“But what?” I smile tightly, encouraging her to finish her thought.
“Don’t be afraid of letting go of control every once in a while, Andrushka. You might be shocked that you don’t have to do what others expect. Vasily was a tyrant, and no one expects you to be his stand-in. You are you, and you’ve always had a good heart, no matter how hard you hide it. You will be a good father.”
We leave the room and step out into the hallway. As I lock the door, I notice the air heating my body as we walk down the hallway. It’s not easy to leave my father’s ghost behind.
“Do you know what you want, Andrushka?” Sonya asks. “A boy or a girl?”
“A little girl to spoil,” I answer, grinning.
“Like me?”
“Exactly like you, Sonichka.” I match Sonya’s large smile with my own.
Sonya pecks my cheek before dashing out the front door toward her car. Her convertible BMW pulls out of the driveway with its top down, and the wind catches her blonde hair as she races out the gate.
Yes, I want a daughter. I want her to have the choice Paige and I will never have. I want her to be able to choose if she stays or goes.
But at the same time, a dark chill runs through me at the thought of having a daughter.
What if she encounters a monster like me?
Chapter 19
Andrei
