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“Uh- what?” Lexi nearly dropped her purse a second time. ‘You mean you’re just going to stand out here for days?”
“No.” The smallest glint of humor glistened in his eyes. “No. I’m not going to stand out here. That’s not what here means. I’m here, Lexi. I’m not leaving you. I know what you thought and why you thought it, but I’m here telling you that it’s not going down like that. We’re not going down like that. I’m in love with you. Take that how you will. The seeds of it or a flawed emotion or the start of something great. I don’t know myself because I’ve never felt it before. You’re the first. It’s you, Lexi Wellington. When we finally started, we had something good. I’m not letting that go and I’m not going to let you throw it away. I might be a shit father, but I would never abandon you or our child. I might never have seen myself as wanting kids, but maybe that was just something I said because I don’t generally like them and because I thought I’d be a shitty father. I have some pretty big shoes to fill. It’s intimidating as hell.”
Lexi just stared at him. At Curtis. At Curtis James, Trust Fund Baby. She stared at him so long, unblinking, that her eyes dried out and she no longer had to worry about the tsunami of tears.
“I might be an idiot. I might be spoiled. I might be this guy who has no idea what it means to love someone. I might be entitled. I might be a thousand things, none of them good, but I’m yours, Lexi. I’m yours if you want me. I might be a shitty father too, but I’ll be there for that kid through thick and thin. No matter what happens. I’ll practice up on my apologies so that I can spend day and night telling him or her I’m sorry that I’m not the best father. I’ll take parenting classes. I’ll- I’ll even babysit my niece and nephew ever single weekend to get ready for this if that’s what it takes. A lot of the things I said and did in the past were to try and protect myself, but I don’t want to protect myself from you. I know you didn’t leave me to hurt me. You did it out of love. The greatest love in existence. I know you feel something for me, even if you never wanted to. And I know that you are going to be the best mother on the planet, so maybe it will make up for the fact that I’m probably going to be pretty clueless about all of it.”
“You won’t be a terrible father,” Lexi blurted. She couldn’t keep silent anymore. It was like a dam burst inside of her mouth and the words were spilling out before she could fully think about them, process them, or stop them. “I know you won’t be. No one can prepare for being a parent. Not like we think we can. I wanted to believe that you weren’t a good guy. I tried to tell myself that so I could stop myself from falling for you, but it didn’t work. It didn’t work and I’m not going to stand here and tell you that you’re a bad person or that you’ll be a bad father, because I know that’s not the truth. You had great examples in your life. They might be big shoes to fill, but they were also the best shoes, and they taught you how to love and when you choose to give it, I know you’ll be amazing. I left because I thought you didn’t want this, but if you’re telling me you do…”
“I’m telling you that I love you, Lexi. It might be small, but doesn’t everything have to start somewhere? I know that I’ll fight for you if that’s what it takes. I’ll do everything and anything to earn your trust. I’m not going anywhere. You can’t get rid of me if you want to. I’m sticking around and that baby is going to have a mother and a father.”
“Even- even if it doesn’t work out? With us?” Her voice was small and threaded with fear and worry.
Curtis nodded solemnly. “Even if it doesn’t work out, we both will still love that child. We’ll both want what’s best for him or her. I know that. I know it because you’re the best person I know. That’s why I fell in love with you. I might not be the best guy you know, but I’ll work on that. I promise you that. I don’t want to talk about failing though. I want to talk about succeeding.”
Lexi chewed her lip so hard that copper bloomed in her mouth. She never honestly thought that she’d be here with Curtis. That she’d see him again. She’d spent a month playing the what if’s over and over in her head. He’d haunted her every thought, waking moment, and even her dreams. She knew that if he ever found her and told her that he wanted her or wanted to be a part of their child’s life, there was no way she could deny him. Even if she was afraid. Even if the future was uncertain. That was just life. She knew there was no way she could deny Curtis his child if he wanted a relationship with them. There was no way she could deny him her heart, even though she’d spent three years trying to do just that.
