Page 74 of Until You


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Her eyes flash with what I recognize as frustration, and I can’t help but hope that it’s thecaseshe’s frustrated with, and that she’s merely projecting that on me. Despite her words, a small part of me wants to believe she doesn’t hate me.

“He was happy to give his DNA because of how long ago the offense occurred, I assume. He’d have been a lot more worried if he knew about your existence. Now he’s lawyered up, swearing up and down that Iwantedit. That he’d been courting me, and I’d been asking for it. Like I’d ever want to be defiled. Now it’s his word against mine. Who do you think people will believe? The poor waitress or a successful businessman?”

She laughs, the sound filled with hatred. “You look like him,” she tells me. “I bet you’re just like him too, aren’t you? Hurting women, using those weaker than you. I bet you’ve gone after someone vulnerable, just like your father did. You have, haven’t you?”

I instinctively think of Aria. When she and I started dating, shewasvulnerable. She was heartbroken, and I took advantage of it. She’d never have wanted to date me if she hadn’t just come out of such an awful relationship.

Ida smiles at me, her expression chilling. “You’re a monster,” she tells me. “You shouldn’t exist. If my parents would’ve let me, I’d have aborted you. The only reason you’re alive is because my father took you away from me before I could kill you with my bare hands.”

She rises from her seat and stares at me. “You should be dead,” she says. “You know, for just a second I was happy you existed because I thought it meant I’d finally get justice. But it doesn’t. You’re useless, your existence is meaningless. You are born of sin, and darkness will follow everything you touch. Don’t appear here again. Don’t destroy what is left of my life.”

She walks away, and I stare after her, her words reverberating in my mind.

55

Aria

I glance around the office, my phone in my hand. I expected Gray to come back after meeting Ida, but he hasn’t. His phone seems to be turned off too, and it worries me.

I’m anxious as I make my way home, overthinking everything. I should have gone with him. I knew this wouldn’t be easy, and I should have been there for him. If nothing else, I should’ve waited for him outside. Why didn’t I think of that at the time?

My heart starts to race when I walk into the house to find it dark and empty. Panic grips me, and I clutch my phone tightly. My first instinct is to try calling Gray again, but I already know his phone is turned off.

I lean back against the wall, my thoughts whirling. Where could he be? What could have happened? Maybe I should have dropped by the diner to check if he might still be there with Ida. Maybe they’ve been talking for hours, and his phone ran out of battery. That’s what I want to believe, but I can feel deep down to my core that something is wrong.

I walk through the house, pausing by the door that leads up to the rooftop. My heart hammers in my chest as I walk up the stairs. I’m trembling as I walk out onto the rooftop, worried sick.

Intense relief washes over me when I see Gray standing by his punching bag through the glass walls separating the pool area from the gym. The force he’s hitting the bag with tells me his meeting with Ida didn’t go well.

He barely looks up when I walk into the gym, his expression haunted. What could have happened? She was actively looking for him, wasn’t she?

I walk up to Gray and sit down on the floor a few steps away, watching him. He goes through sequence after sequence, hitting and kicking the bag, his muscles tensing with every move. I don’t say a word as he keeps going, my eyes on his face. I watch his expression carefully, taking in the sorrow, the anger, the heartache. Whatever happened can’t have been good. What could she have said to him?

Gray steadies the bag with both hands and drops his forehead to it, his breathing labored. I rise to my feet and walk up to him, placing my hand on his arm. He turns his head to look at me, and the pain I see in his eyes guts me.

He reaches out for me, the back of his hand brushing over my cheek. There’s desperation in his eyes, and I wish I knew what it is he needs. I can’t make it right if I don’t know what’s wrong.

“I love you,” I whisper. “I don’t know what happened, Grayson. I don’t know how she responded or what she might have said, butIlove you. I love you with all my heart. You’re more than just my boyfriend, Gray. You’re my family.”

He swallows hard and pulls me closer. I wrap my arms around his neck and jump up the way I usually do. He instinctively lifts me into his arms, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He inhales shakily and buries his face in my neck as I tighten my grip on him, the tips of my fingers combing through his hair. We stand there together, my legs around his waist and his face buried in my neck. I hold him as closely as I can, doing my best to make him feel just how loved he is.

“You always know the right thing to say,” he whispers, pressing a soft kiss to my neck. “I love you, Aria. I don’t deserve you, but fuck… I love you. I love you so much.”

I nod, my eyes filling with tears. I don’t know what’s going on, but my heart is breaking for him. Gray pulls away to look at me, and the vulnerability in his eyes has my stomach tightening. “What do you see when you look at me, Aria? Do you see the son of a rapist? Tell me honestly, baby. Do you think I’d ever hurt you? I need to know.”

“What?” I cup his cheeks with both hands, keeping his eyes on mine. “Don’t you ever even think that kind of bullshit, Grayson. Don’t. I don’t see you that way. I never have, and I never will. You’re still the same man I fell in love with. You’re still Noah’s best friend. You’re the person who helped make my dreams come true, the man that inspired me to keep going when life was too much to bear. You’re the person who helped solve hundreds of cases, never even asking for recognition for all you do. That is who you are, Grayson. That is who you’ve always been.”

He looks into my eyes, his gaze searching. I see the disbelief, the suspicion, and I don’t know how to make it better. Gray inhales deeply and presses a lingering kiss to my cheek. “Come on,” he says, sounding defeated. “I’m sweaty. I need a shower. Let’s go down.”

56

Grayson

I inhale deeply as I turn the shower on, feeling filthy right down to my soul. I’m not sure how long I’ve been in here when the door opens. I turn to find Aria walking up to me, her body bare, a tortured expression in her eyes. I did that. I put that worry in her eyes.

She takes my electric toothbrush from me, and I blink in confusion. I didn’t even realize I was holding it. “I’ve heard you brush your teeth three times now, Gray. I think you’re clean.”

She puts it away and moves closer to me, her palms flat on my chest. She’s so fucking tiny, and I’ve always loved that about her, but today it scares me. It’d be so easy to hurt her. Will I ever feel that same twisted satisfaction while hurtingher? Is she safe with me?

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