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I kiss her gently and shake my head. “I’m glad we didn’t,” I whisper. “We were both virgins, baby. It would’ve been impossible, and it would’ve hurt. It’s much better this way.”
Emilia nods and looks up at me like I’m the only thing she can see. She makes me feel so fucking loved.
“Would you still have done it if you’d known the fallout would be this bad? Would you still choose to be with me?” I ask.
Emilia smiles with so much love in her eyes she doesn’t even need to give me an answer. “Yes,” she says. “A thousand times over, Carter. You’re worth every risk. This is worth everything.”
I drop my forehead against hers. Just a few hours together makes me forget about all the shit we’ve been through in the last couple of weeks.
“I’m going to marry you someday,” I whisper.
Emilia smiles and tilts her head to kiss me. “I know,” she whispers against my lips.
I look into her eyes and I just know she is it for me. “Move in with me.”
Emilia freezes and stares at me with wide eyes. “What?”
“I’m serious, Emilia. I don’t want to be without you. I’m going to get so busy with the new season. I’ll have to leave soon for summer training, and I can’t imagine coming home after a long day and not seeing you. I want to spend every free second with you. I want to wake up with you and go to bed with you. I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up and I want to kiss you goodnight every single night. Besides, you’re meant to be rooming with Kate, do you really want that?”
Emilia looks at me, completely shell-shocked, and I can’t help but chuckle. “Just think about it, baby,” I whisper before pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead. There’s nothing I want more than living with Emilia, but ultimately the choice will be hers.
Chapter 40
Emilia
All I’ve been able to think about for the last week is Carter’s question. I can’t believe he actually wants me to move in with him. Even crazier is that I can’t think of many reasons to say no. I want nothing more than to spend more time with him, especially once he starts to get busier with football. I’m terrified of pushing Kate even further away, though. I doubt she’ll accept us moving in together, and I don’t want to make things worse. Even if things between me and her never get better, I don’t want to be responsible for ruining Carter’s relationship with his sister.
I pause in front of Kate’s bedroom door. She’s been in her room since we got back from the cabin, and I admittedly went out of my way to avoid her when I should’ve tried harder to make things up to her. I hesitate before knocking. I’m not surprised when she doesn’t reply and open her door, my hands trembling.
“Kate?” I murmur. She’s sitting on her bed with her laptop on her lap and glares up at me.
“Get out.”
She slams her laptop closed and crosses her arms. My heart is beating loudly and I’m oddly scared. I don’t know what to do or say. This helplessness is killing me.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her for the millionth time. Kate rolls her eyes and looks away as though she can’t even stand to look at me. “I never meant to hurt you, Kate. I definitely never meant to break my promise. None of this was intentional. Carter and I… it just happened.”
Kate looks at me and frowns. “Are you seriously standing there and telling me the two of you getting into a relationship just happened, like it wasn’t a conscious choice you made?”
She huffs and I bite down on my lip, unsure what to say. She’s right, I did choose to be with Carter, and I did it knowing it would hurt her.
“Did lying to me just happen too? Was it fun for the two of you to sneak around, leaving me clueless? You’ve been going behind my back for months now, Emilia. Months. You’re supposed to be my best friend, but you’ve been lying to my face this whole time.”
I shake my head. “I never meant to, Kate. Of course I didn’t mean to do any of that. Carter and I just wanted to be sure our relationship would last before telling you about it.”
Kate laughs and rolls her eyes. “What, so it was all for my sake? You lied to me and broke your promise for my sake?”
She looks away, disgusted. I don’t even know how to defend myself, because she isn’t wrong. I did do all of those things, but at the time I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing.
“Why, Emilia? Why did it have to be Carter? I’ve always welcomed you with open arms. When the kids at school used to make fun of you for not having a mother, I defended you. Every Mother’s Day I made sure you’d join me to buy a gift for my mom, so you wouldn’t miss yours so much. When your dad was too busy to teach you how to drive, I convinced my own dad to teach you instead. I’ve always shared everything with you. I’ve invited you on every trip and we’ve celebrated every holiday together. Even when I was sick, I’d always make sure Carter would take you to school or pick you up. And this is how you repay me? I asked one thing of you, Emilia. Just this one thing. All I asked was that you don’t go after my brother.”
I look down at my feet, my heart breaking. “Kate, I tried. I swear I did. I never meant to fall in love with Carter. I fought the feelings I had for longer than you can imagine. Falling for him wasn’t a conscious choice. I tried to get over him for months, years even. I’ve been so scared to let you down or to hurt you, but not being with Carter was tearing me apart. We’re both so much happier together. I know you’re worried us dating might change things or that we might break up and ruin everything, but we won’t. I promise you, nothing like that will happen.”
Kate shakes her head and inhales deeply before looking up at me. “I want nothing to do with you, Emilia. I don’t trust you. You’re nothing but a leech — hanging onto me and sucking all the happiness out of my life. You won’t stop until all I’ve got is yours. You’ve already won over my parents, and now Carter. You play the innocent role so well that you had me fooled for years. But I see you for what you are now. You’re nothing but a sad girl wishing for someone else’s life. I’m done with you. I’ve already put in a request with USC to change roommates. I never want to see you again.”
I inhale sharply, my heart clenching. I swallow hard and will myself to say something, to do something… but I can’t. I can’t speak another word without bursting into tears. I take a step back before turning away, a tear running down my cheek.
“Fine. I understand,” I murmur. I inhale deeply and walk out of Kate’s room. I’m surprised to find Carter standing in the hallway, a worried expression on his face. Did he see me walk into Kate’s room?
