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Emilia empties her glass in a matter of seconds and puts it down before crossing her arms over each other. I bite down on my lip, unsure what to even say to her.
She undoes her seatbelt and rises the second we’re in the air. She turns towards me, an unreadable expression on her face. “Is there a bathroom here?” she asks, and I nod.
“Use the one in the bedroom,” I tell her, my head tipped towards the door opposite us.
Emilia blinks, her eyes widening. “There’s a bedroom here?” she asks in disbelief. She looks up, her eyes settling on Tamara, and then she laughs. “Of course there is,” she says.
She turns and walks away, and I bury my hands in my hair in frustration. I hesitate for half a second before following Emilia, catching the bedroom door just before it closes.
She turns to look at me in surprise when I enter the bedroom, and I grab her, pushing her against the closed door. I take a step closer to her, my body flush against hers. Emilia melts against me, her cheeks reddening.
“It didn’t mean a thing, Emilia. I won’t lie to you and tell you I didn’t try to fuck you out of my system, because I did. But it didn’t mean a thing. No one but you has ever meant anything to me.”
She looks into my eyes, and for the first time since she got here, I see rawness in them. I see her hurt, her jealousy, her longing.
She bites down on her lip and nods. Her eyes fall closed, and she drops her forehead against my chest. Emilia inhales deeply, and then she pulls away from me.
When she looks at me, her mask is back in place. She smiles at me, but there’s not a trace of emotion in that smile. “I’m not sure why you’re telling me this,” she says. “I couldn’t care less who you sleep with.”
I smile at her and brush her hair out of her face. “I see,” I murmur. “Okay. I guess you won’t mind if I hook up with someone in New York, then?” I say, teasing her.
Emilia blanches, and I grin, shaking my head. I pull away from her and smirk. For the first time since she walked back into my life, I’m truly filled with hope.
Chapter 19
Emilia
I’m still distraught by the time we reach the hotel. I know I’m overreacting, and I hate that I can’t seem to hide how hurt I am. Why would I even care if Carter has been with anyone in the time we were apart? It was only natural, and considering his track record in college, it was inevitable. It’s not like I’ve never been with anyone else either… except in my case there’s only been one single other person, and it took years before I was even able to think about sleeping with someone else.
I can’t help but wonder how long it took him to get over me when things ended. How long did it take before he fell into bed with someone else? How long did it take for him to remove every trace of me?
It hurts to think that there are women that know his body better than I do. That might have learned more about him than I ever have. How many women must he have been with after me? I wonder if he even remembers what we used to be like.
I try my best to shake myself out of my thoughts, but I can’t. I can’t stop overthinking, I can’t stop hurting myself.
I feel a hand drop on my shoulder, and I look up to find Carter looking at me, concern in his eyes. He’s holding up a keycard, and I blink in surprise.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I… yeah, I’m fine,” I tell him. I take the card from him and turn to walk away. Maybe a little bit of distance is all I need. Lately being around him has started to confuse me. It’s started to make me nostalgic, and I find myself wanting things I can never have again. Things I shouldn’t want.
I swipe my key and open the door, only to stop and stare in shock. Carter walks in behind me, catching the door right before it closes. He looks at me, his expression unreadable.
“What is this?” I ask, my hands gesturing around the suite.
Carter smiles and glances at his luggage. “We’re sharing this,” he says. “That’s your bedroom,” he adds, tipping his head towards one of the doors.
I look at him in disbelief, and Carter smiles. “Chill, Emilia. We both have our own bedrooms. We’ll only be sharing the living areas. Usually, your room would be my secretary’s.”
My first thought is of Carter with his secretary, and I can’t help but wonder if he slept with her too. I can’t seem to snap myself out of this vicious thought cycle. I grit my teeth and walk away, slamming my bedroom door closed behind me.
I sit down on my bed, mad and upset — and annoyed with myself for feeling this way in the first place. It took me years to get over Carter, yet a mere few weeks of being around him, and I’ve come undone. I drop my elbows to my knees and bury my hands in my hair. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t be jealous of women I don’t even know. I can’t feel this possessive towards a man that isn’t mine anymore.
I’m snapped out of my thoughts when my phone rings, and I look at it in surprise. My heart starts to race when I realize it’s the clinic, and I pick up with shaky hands.
“Emilia?”
I recognize Layla’s voice, and I’m instantly filled with bitterness.
