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I don’t stop there, and he soon realizes what I’m up to. He looks at me heatedly as he helps me take off the hoodie I’m wearing, and the rest of our clothes soon follow. At last we’re naked together for the first time since we went skinny dipping, and it couldn’t have felt more perfect. Carter settles back on top of me and his erection presses against me. He rests his forehead against mine and inhales deeply.
“I want to touch you,” he whispers, and I nod eagerly. Carter smiles as his trembling hand traces my inner thigh until he’s finally touching me where I want him. He kisses me and moans when he realizes just how wet I am.
“Fuck, Minx,” he whispers. I feel frantic and turned on beyond reason. I need him to touch me. I need more. I look up at him pleadingly and he grins when his fingers find their way between my legs. They brush against my slick heat and a soft moan escapes my lips. “You’re really wet, Minx,” he whispers. I feel myself blush as he pushes a finger inside me. “Emilia, I don’t really know what I’m doing,” he admits nervously. He seems anxious and clumsy, and I can’t help but giggle against his lips. I place my hand over his and guide his fingers so his thumb touches me right where I want it. He keeps up the movements I showed him, and I slowly but surely lose control.
I’m frantic as I boldly wrap my hands around his erection. I still remember how he touched himself, how he pumped up and down until he lost control. In my mind I’ve replayed the scene I watched over and over again, imagining that it’s my hands touching him in his bed. Now I finally get to do it.
The pace Carter touches me with increases and within minutes I’m close.
“Carter, I can’t hold on,” I whisper. He deepens our kiss and smothers all my moans with his lips. I moan his name as I shatter and Carter’s eyes fall closed. Seconds later he comes all over my stomach. The way he’s panting afterwards and the little whimpers that escape his lips are hot as hell. He drops his forehead to mine and smiles at me.
“Fucking amazing,” he whispers, and I nod shyly, in full agreement. I giggle and he laughs before kissing me again. He sits up and reaches for his bag.
“I brought napkins... they were actually for the cake,” he says awkwardly. He wipes me clean and then lies down, opening his arms for me. I settle into his embrace as he yawns.
I look up at him and smile. I can’t remember the last time I was this intensely happy. I lift my face and kiss his cheek gently. I’m filled to the brim with love and affection. I’m not sure I can even hold the words in much longer. It’s like those three little words are fighting to burst out. I want to tell Carter that I love him, but I know it wouldn’t be fair to say it when I know we can’t be together. I know Carter wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he and I ended up making both Helen and Kate unhappy. The love and respect he has for his mother and sister is one of the things I admire most about him. Neither one of us would be able to forgive ourselves if our dating destroyed the delicate balance that’s in place now.
Carter and I stay cuddled up together and actually manage to watch the remainder of The Notebook. I don’t think my birthday could’ve been any more perfect. If only things could always be like this between us.
Chapter 29
Emilia
I walk into the living room and smile when I see Carter lying on the couch. He’s wearing sweats and a tee, his hair a mess. He looks hot. He glances up when I walk in and smiles at me.
“Hey,” he says. I’m secretly thrilled to find him alone. I was hoping I would. Ever since my birthday, we haven’t been alone for a single moment. Every time I think we’ll have just a few seconds together, Kate interrupts us. It’s almost like she’s developed some sort of sixth sense that alerts her whenever Carter and I get too close. Or maybe it’s a sign. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me I’m doing the wrong thing here. I know I am, but it’s so hard to stay away from him.
“Come here,” he says, rising from his seat, his voice husky. I grin and run up to him, crashing into his arms. Carter laughs and wraps his arms around me, hugging me tightly. I rise to my tiptoes and he looks into my eyes. The way his eyes twinkle tells me he feels the same way I do. I just know it. “I can’t even remember the last time I got to hug you,” he whispers. “I miss you.”
I melt against him and tighten my grip. “I miss you too,” I whisper, truly feeling it as well. Even though I’m right here in his arms, it still feels like it isn’t enough.
Without overthinking it, I press my lips against his. Carter kisses me back instantly and I smile against his lips. I’ve wanted this for so long. He threads his hand through my hair and I sigh happily.
A door opens near us, and we jump apart. Helen walks in seconds later and pauses, her eyes jumping between us suspiciously. She looks at us through narrowed eyes, but thankfully ignores our awkward behavior. She hasn’t brought us dating up again, but almost getting caught reminds me it’s not just Kate I’m betraying. It’s Helen too.
“You’re here early, Milly. Kate is still asleep,” she tells me. I nod as though I didn’t already know that. She looks at Carter with raised brows. “And you’re up awfully early. Usually I can’t get you out of bed until noon.”
He looks away embarrassed and glances at me with a sweet smile on his face. Surely he isn’t up early because he too was hoping we might have a moment together? Carter shrugs and his mom shakes her head knowingly.
“Hungry?” she asks him. He looks at her in disbelief and she laughs. “Of course you are.” She tips her head towards the kitchen and we follow her in.
“You look beautiful,” he whispers. His eyes trace over the spaghetti straps on my dress, his eyes darkening instantly. It’s obvious what he’s thinking. If his mom wasn’t right here, he’d be pushing those straps out of the way. I glance down to find him hardening. He looks at his mom anxiously and then readjusts himself to hide his arousal. I burst out laughing and he glares at me, but I can’t help it.
“What are you doing today?” he asks, his eyes roaming over my body. I’m too embarrassed to admit that I dressed up for him.
“Nothing much. Kate and I said we’d hang out. Feels like we haven’t hung out in a while. I think she said she wanted to go shopping or something? I’m not too sure. I just want to spend some time with her. I miss our friendship and the way we used to be. She’s always been like a sister to me, but recently it’s almost like we’ve become strangers. I know hanging out won’t fix that, but I think it’ll be a step in the right direction.”
Carter sighs and shakes his head. “Minx, I don’t know. You’ll both need to put effort in, but her more so than you. You’re not the one that ditched her over Gabby, so don’t take on all the responsibility of saving your friendship. Kate needs to work at it too.”
Helen smiles at me and nods. “Carter is right. It breaks my heart to see what you two are like these days. You used to do everything together and now it’s like you barely know each other, but that isn’t your fault Milly. I saw how hard you tried and how Kate pushed you away. I’ve always said that I love you as my own daughter, and I mean that. Don’t ever feel obligated to remain friends with anyone that doesn’t treat you right - Kate included. My door will always be open to you, Emilia. I would love for you and Kate to go back to how you used to be, but I don’t want you to feel forced to do anything.”
My heart feels so full it might burst. I’ve known Helen for years, yet she never ceases to amaze me, she never fails to make me feel loved and welcome. I feel terrible for what I did on my birthday and then again this morning, after she asked us not to get together. I can’t believe I betrayed her the way I did when she’s only ever been amazing to me. I’m terrified of losing the only real mother I’ve ever really known, and this time I’ll be to blame. My heart hasn’t recovered from my own Mom leaving, and I don’t think I’ll survive losing Helen too. Especially if it’s because of my own actions.
Carter nods and hands me a glass of orange juice. Helen looks at us with wide eyes and I pause before taking a sip.
“You...” she says. “You didn’t put anything in Emilia’s glass, did you?”
I blink and look up at Carter suspiciously, but he shakes his head. Come to think of it, he hasn’t pulled a single prank on me lately, and I haven’t pulled any on him. Usually we’d never dare accept any food or drinks from each other. I take a cautious sip, but it doesn’t seem like there’s anything wrong with it.
