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"On that subject," she says, "You should know that Mickael is dying."
"What? But how? I didn't even touch him."
"Renna. She attacked him and bit him before he ran off. The bite she inflicted was fatal. It poisoned Mickael's bloodstream with an infection."
"Where is he now?" I ask.
"Back with his clan, but Blair heard that they don't expect Mickael to survive. The infection spread into his bloodstream."
I can't help but smile with gratification, even though I'm dying, too. At least Mickael won't live to see another night.
"Maybe this is how things were supposed to end," I say, trying not to sound as melancholy as I feel. "With the alpha and the vamp leader taking each other out so that younger leaders can take over and find a way to live together in peace."
"No, I don't believe that," Elspeth protests. "I refuse to give up on you. We've just found each other. What kind of cruel universe would snuff that out so quickly?"
The look in her eyes is so full of hope and innocence that I can't say anything to the contrary, even if I know deep in my heart that the universe is exactly that cruel.
"Do you have to go yet?" I ask. "I want you to stay with me."
"I can stay a little longer," she says. "But then I have to leave and go help the others. They're working hard to save your life, and our magic as a coven is more powerful than when we're alone. Blair needs all of her magic to help you, and I can't waste any more of her energy staying in here with you."
"This is no waste, I assure you," I say as I squeeze her even closer to me. "I would rather have a few more moments in here with you than anything else."
She honors my request, even though I can see she's worried about what is happening outside and wants to go back and help the others. But I'm glad she'll stay with me for a few moments longer. I'm afraid that once she leaves, I'll die and never see her again.
We stand there frozen in an embrace, and I whisper words of affection that I hope stay in her memory and thoughts forever. Then, when she stars to fidget, clearly wanting to find the other witches and help them save me, I say goodbye to her and kiss her softly on the forehead.
"It's not goodbye" she says in a shaky voice. "You're just asleep, and you'll wake up soon. And I will be right at your side when you do, just like I was the last time."
I nod, but she knows that I might not wake up. As soon as she leaves and fades from sight, everything sinks right back into a dark abyss. For a while, I see and feel nothing. I worry I've died and this is what death is for me—nothing but blackness and stillness inside my own head. But then, suddenly, I start to have the most beautiful dreams about Elspeth.
These are different than the one before. These are actualdreams,and I can tell that she isn't really inside my head with me anymore. Instead, I see the loveliest images of her. I smile, knowing that she probably conjured these peaceful and beautiful images, or had one of the other witches do it, to keep me from being lonely inside my head. They remind me that I'm not dead, because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to see any of this if I wasn't still alive in some capacity.
The images play in a loop. First there is Elspeth sitting beside me and smiling, holding my hand and looking rosy-cheeked, like she spent the day outside. Her blue eyes are glistening, and her blonde hair falls around her shoulders in cascading waves. She is so stunning to look at that it takes my breath away—or at least itfeelslike it does. I pause for a moment to wonder if I'm actually breathing in the real world.
The next image is of Elspeth in her rooftop garden, grinding herbs into a powdery, magical dust of dark green. She blows one of the powdered concoctions on me and I turn into a rabbit, and I watch as she laughs in amusement at her clever trick. Then, she bends down, lifts me up and nuzzles her face against my cheek, stroking my long ears. It feels good and is a useful distraction against what is really happening with my body.
I don't feel any pain, and I can't tell if I'm breathing. It's like I'm observing these visions from the outside.
The final image is one of Elspeth and I making love. God, it looks and feels so real. If there is a heaven, this is what I want it to be. A constant undulating movement of my body inside of hers as we exchange pleasured gasps. I immerse myself in the vision, and when it ends, the first images begins again.
They play in one continuous loop, but I don't get tired of them. I could never tire of Elspeth's smile, or laugh, or the feeling of her between my thighs.
Every once in a while, I wonder how much time has passed or how much longer I will be here inside my head alone, with only the tempting visions of Elspeth to keep me company. But then I am drawn back into the luscious moments and forget that I was ever anywhere else.
Outside, where my body remains, Elspeth is probably still casting spells over me. She and her coven witches have given me the kindness of these lovely visions, magical creations that keep me at peace while they do all the heavy lifting of trying to save me. My body isn't immortal like the Fae, and therefore there is only so much it can do to heal itself, and so much that anyone else can do to save it. But as long as it tries to hold on, I will continue to immerse myself in these lovely dreams, and I will continue to hope that I will be able to open my eyes sometime soon and look into the blue eyes of the woman I love.
If ever there was a time to prove your power, Elspeth, do it now.
That is my one, last lucid thought before I let myself fall back into the giddy delirium of the fictional lovemaking going on in my head.
15
ELSPETH
Ihad Blair place me inside Lucian's head to keep him calm and still as his body struggles to heal itself. It requires only a very small bit of linear magic to implant a few visions that play on repeat, not like the amount of continuing energy that it takes to manifest someone inside another person's head. I knew the dreams would keep him peaceful while we tried to save him, but I wish I could've stayed there with him, rather than go back to the real world.
I am not ready to give up, no matter what. But with each passing moment and each failed attempt to reverse the death he inches closer to, it becomes more apparent that our efforts might not succeed.
