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But right now, all that I want to do is continue lying in this bed, completely satisfied for what feels like the first time in my life, and cradle Blair in my arms as her cheek rests upon my chest. Making love to her unlocked all the feelings I haven't voiced or named. And now that I've laid with her, there is no going back. I can't shove my feelings for her back into an empty chest. I crave her, the need blooming uncontrollably in my chest like an overgrown garden under the hot sun. I want to tell her how I feel, but I don't want to do anything that could interrupt this moment of bliss.
"I can tell them that I enchanted your eyes," she says quietly, like she's picking up a conversation we started before.
"What?"
"I can tell everyone that since you're the host of this party, I gifted give you an enchantment of your choosing. Since so many people have seen and complemented the magic I used on my own look tonight, they won't question whether I could give you glowing eyes."
It's a smart response to the prying questions that will undoubtedly crop up once we return to the party, which I know we will need to do soon.
"That's a good solution. Thank you for thinking of it," I say.
She sighs deeply and I already know what she's thinking without having to ask. She doesn't want to return to the party, and neither do I. I want to stay up here with her for the rest of the night and into the wee hours of the morning. I want to make love to her again and again, because that lust is building in me again already. I don't want this to be over yet. And I don't want to go back to being the clan leader and for Blair to go back to being just a guest at my party.
But I know that the longer we stay holed-up here together, the more questions we'll have to answer. And we've put together too intricately balanced of a scheme to have any leeway for letting things slide.
I kiss her on the temple, then bend my chin and drag my lips across her silken hair, which glows even brightly now than before we made love. Then, we both reluctantly get up and gather our clothes. There's a mutual and unspoken understanding that we're both enamored with each other and want to devour each other more. But we both feel the burden of my new responsibility as clan leader. We have to return to the party.
Just before we leave the room, looking more tousled than before, Blair pauses to ask me a question.
"What was your outburst about earlier?" she asks. She's frowning, like she's wondering if she's somehow to blame for it. "Why did you get so upset and punch that man?"
"He was rude," I answer, keeping the truth to myself.
"Agreed," she says. "But you showed no self-restraint at all. It was an uncharacteristic response from you, especially now that you have to maintain appearances as the clan leader. I just don't understand what made youangry enough to hurt him. Surely it wasn't all just about his rudeness?"
There is no way for menotto answer her direct question now without lying. And I don't want to get into the habit of lying to Blair.
"You're right. It wasn't just about rudeness. It was about you."
"Come again?"
I bite my tongue so I don't point out the delicious double meaning of her remark.
"It's how I feel when I'm around you," I answer honestly, hoping that I'm not going to scare her away by being brutally honest. "I feel very protective of you. I always have, even when we were informants for each other. I don't know why."
That's at leastmostlytrue. IthinkI know why, but I'm not sure I'm ready to divulge that to her just yet. Once things are said, they can't be erased or forgotten.
The corner of her mouth tilts upward into a small smile at my answer.
"But there's something else too," I say, deciding to tell her the whole truth. "Ever since I drank your blood, I can't hold in my emotions, and those emotions are so much stronger than before. Instead of just feeling protective when that vampire cut in, I wanted to hurt him. And after I punched him, my blood was still boiling with rage that he touched you and pulled you away from me. I would've been angry about it no matter what, even before I fed on your blood, and even before I made love to you. But usually, I have more self-restraint. And to be quite honest, I didn't want to stop with just punching him. I wanted to beat him to within an inch of his life so that he would never come near you or touch you again. It was definitely an unhinged overreaction."
I scan her face, expecting her to look horrified..
"I don't know what could be causing it," she says. Surprisingly, she doesn't look horrified at my confession. "I thought that when your eyes stopped glowing the first time, that would be the end of it. But apparently, it wasn't. Caspian was right; feeding on my blood has changed you."
"I'm not sure if it'schangedme," I say. "My emotions are just stronger than normal."
"Yes, because like Caspian said, my blood enhanced your predatorial instincts."
I hate to admit that Caspian is right, but I think he might be. Vampires are predators by nature, and I'm definitely feeling more of predatory and protective than I usually do. But I wouldn't say I'm dangerous or unhinged—at least notyet.
"There is a woman here in Boston who might be able to help," Blair continues. "She owns a bookstore on Newberry Street."
"I'm not sure a bookstore owner is going to be able to fix this," I tease.
"She's not just a bookstore owner, she's a psychic. And it's notjusta book shop. The bookstore is merely a façade. In the back, down a wrought iron spiral staircase, there is a secret room where she runs an apothecary that specializes in all thingsunusual."
"A psychic?" The skepticism shows on my face. I'm not sure what a psychic could possibly know about vampire's reaction to drinking witch's blood.
