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“If you want to slowly kill yourself, go ahead.” She stood and snatched her knitting from the floor before he could get his head further organized. “We’re not watching, and I’m not spending years trying to keep you alive and cleaning up your puke because you drank too much. I cared for Lord Mather through his decline, and Lan kept everything going the best he could, but Lord Mather would have gotten better in a second if he could. You-I don’t know about you.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again even though it was so inadequate. “I-it hurts. Everything.” Words couldn’t even begin to describe it.
She hesitated by the door. “I thought you’d get better with some care and would be able to cope. You’re also safe here, but Lan thinks you won’t get better, and after this, I’m starting to believe him. Neither of us want to stick around and see. I’m too old to wake up and find you dead one morning in a puddle of vomit. Lan is too. We’re leaving.”
“Wait.” His eyes pricked with tears.
She closed the door.
“Sira, please!” he begged, but the sitting room door slammed shut.
He had no energy to get up and go after her, and he could barely drink from the water glass she’d left on the bedside table. She was probably only threatening him. When he got up, they’d still be here. She’d be miffed, but he’d beg her forgiveness and try to do better. Somehow, he’d try. He had just wanted to stop feeling, not scare her half to death.
When he finally struggled out of bed a few hours later, they were gone, and they had robbed him. All of the money in the office lock box was gone, and he noticed certain trinkets and knick-knacks that could be sold had vanished. The jewelry box from Lord Mather’s room wasn’t there, and the room looked sparse. They’d taken whatever they could and abandoned him.
He sat on the bottom step of the stairs as he stared into space, realizing how truly alone he was now. He’d even managed to chase off two older people. Then again, since they robbed him, they couldn’t have cared that much.
He shouldn’t have expected anything different. With King Leneer and the younger two triplets dead, no one would ever really care about him again. Nobody wanted someone so broken and unfixable.
The bottles in the office and kitchen were all gone, so Aspen checked the cellar. She must have forgotten or not bothered to clean this out since there was so much. Rows of wine would have to do. He could kill himself this way instead and not feel the pain of a weapon or risk living if he jumped off of the balcony.
If he finally managed to slip away, would he be allowed to have King Leneer, Kard, or Zale at least? Or would he be left alone and forgotten in the afterlife too?
A shelf in a corner held dusty bottles, and when he brushed off the label, he saw it was some old whiskey from a century ago. Lord Mather had probably been saving it for better times that never came.
It was too late now.
Chapter Eleven
Oriel kept his face blank as Aspen walked away.
“He seems a bit tapped." Roth made a slight face, and one of his ears twitched as a chuckle chickie giggled in the garden somewhere. “I rather hope he doesn’t come back.”
Like Roth wasn’t tapped. He’d just held a dagger to Oriel’s throat not too long ago.
“You were a good boy,” Roth said as if that had all been a simple game.
Pure hate burned so brightly in Oriel’s chest, he almost got up to fly at Roth and choke the shit from him.
Roth leaned down to look at him, and too late, Oriel realized his expression might not have been so placid. Internally, he braced for a hit as he made sure his features were smooth like nothing had happened.
Roth seemed to study him for a long moment. “We’re going in.”
Oriel’s stomach twisted the whole way back. Outside of the sitting room door, a guard stood with a faintly bored expression as usual.
“You can go,” said Roth. “I don’t need you around.”
“But, m’lord, I was told to-”
“I don’t need you,” snapped Roth. “I feel like I’m being babysat all day. My slave couldn’t even set a toothpick on fire, and if he misbehaves, I’m quite capable of dealing with him myself.”
The guard finally retreated.
Roth didn’t punish Oriel once they were inside. Maybe he hadn’t noticed anything. Or maybe he wanted to wait. Either way, it didn’t matter anyway since Oriel was sure it wouldn’t be long before Roth felt like torturing him again.
Oriel sat in the cage for the rest of the day while Roth went off and lived like a normal person. At least he didn’t have to sit in the Hall and be in Lord Delwin’s presence. He ate in his cage when the servant brought food, drank, pissed in the bucket, and prayed that he was left alone tonight.
Roth came in around ten or so by Oriel’s estimate and went to his room. Innocent little noises including splashing water reached him, and he hoped Roth would go to bed. A lantern burned on the table between the couches.
