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Roth started toward the door. “Don’t hold things against him. He doesn’t hate you. He’s hurt, and he regrets th-”
“Don’t tell me how to feel when you weren’t even there two years ago.”
Roth hesitated. “Okay.”
“Go fuck yourself too.”
Roth quietly retreated. Fucking hoity-toity cat bastard. Aspen rubbed his forehead. How was he supposed to survive weeks with them even to punish Oriel? They'd be riding for days and days. He needed a drink.
Oriel came up later with damp hair and went to pack some clothes for Aspen who hadn’t made much effort to actually do anything besides putting on his boots and cloak and grabbing a bottle. Maybe they’d leave without him.
Oriel left with the pack and returned after several minutes. “Put that down. We’re going.”
Aspen stood with the bottle. He felt like shit, but this asshole wasn’t going to treat him like shit. “Don’t tell me what to do. I wish I'd broken your nose.”
Oriel’s eyes were red from crying, and his nose looked fine now that it wasn't bleeding. “Put the bottle down first.”
“Go fall in a ditch.”
Aspen made to sweep by, but Oriel grabbed his arm and wrestled the bottle away.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re not drinking.”
Aspen snatched at the bottle, but Oriel tossed it away. It hit the floor, shattered, and sent shards and liquid across the floorboards at a safe distance.
“I’ll just get another!”
“No, you're not. We’re leaving, and you can whine later.” Oriel scooped him up and threw him over his shoulder. “Nobody wants to watch you drink yourself to death.”
The way he picked up Aspen like he was nothing made his stomach clench. Oriel had already been in the bed with him and taking liberties he shouldn’t.
The pressure on his chest increased, and he couldn’t tell if he was over Oriel’s shoulder or on the floor with him on top. He’d hurt Aspen physically this time and chip off more pieces until he couldn’t even think of how to numb himself anymore.
“Aspen! For fuck’s sake, breathe!” Oriel’s panicky voice came through.
He was on the floor, and he thrashed at the feel of Oriel’s hands touching him. He couldn’t do this again. He wouldn’t be used like on the ship.
Oriel’s hands were gone, and Aspen huddled on the floor as he struggled to get air in.
“I’m sorry.” Oriel’s voice was choked.
Aspen’s limbs unfroze enough for him to scoot away on the floor as he became aware of the hallway. He had to get away even though his lungs were so tight, he thought he might suffocate and die.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you panic."
“Don’t touch me,” gasped Aspen.
He had to get away. One glance told him Oriel was on his knees with a devastated expression. Let him feel like shit. It couldn’t match what Aspen felt right now.
The terror barely lessened when he managed to stumble outside. The sunlight was too bright for his pounding head, and he sank to the steps to lean over and hug his legs while his heart thudded. He wanted to go back in and hide in his bedroom, but Oriel might try to drag him out again.
Roth came closer on a horse, and he pointed at two others patiently waiting by the stable to one side. “The lighter one’s yours. Where’s Oriel?"
Aspen shrugged. He wasn’t touching him, and that was all that counted.
Roth said nothing as he trotted his horse back to the stable. A couple of others had packs on them, and Aspen figured the extra horses could be sold. Oriel might come out soon and grow angry, so he forced himself up. The light horse had a pack on it, and he mounted it, still struggling to make his shaky limbs work the way he wanted.
