AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Tell me what makes you so hesitant. I know it seems like this is really fast. I get it. But I told you how we Warriors are. When we know we have the one, we go full steam ahead. There’s no waiting. You’re the one for me, Boo. I love you. I want you to live with me. Hell, I want it all—you as my old lady, my wife and mother of my children.”
“Adam, I love you too and all those things are what I need and want too. I’m just scared. Not only of how fast this has moved, but of that tiny doubt that this won’t last and I’ll be alone. But worse when you talk about us having a baby, I’m terrified.”
“I thought you wanted kids even if it’s sooner than you thought we should?” I heard the hurt in his voice.
“I do! It’s not that. What if I can’t have kids? My miscarriage was horrible. Or what if I can get pregnant, but can’t carry a baby to full term? We might not be able to have kids and I know you want them. Will that change us and our relationship? You should have a chance at kids, Adam.”
He tugged me closer, so I was practically sitting on his lap. He gazed intently into my eyes. “I need you to listen to me closely. There is nothing and I mean nothing in this world that will ever change how I feel about you. If by some chance, we can’t have kids the usual way, we’ll find another way. Surrogacy, adoption, fertility treatments, whatever. We will have our own family and they’ll never be raised the way you were,” he said softly, as his gaze held mine.
I could see the sincerity on his face and hear the ring of truth in his voice. He meant every word. Something inside of me relaxed and the knot I’d been carrying around in my gut loosened. Until now, I hadn’t really noticed it being there. I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him. It was like the kisses he gave me. It was full of passion, a little desperation and hunger. When I was done, we were both panting.
“What would you think of us saying the hell with anything else tonight and going to the bedroom? I feel the need to show you how much I love you.”
I didn’t object. “I like the way you think. Lead the way, Adam.”
He rose off the couch and pulled me to my feet. His arm was wrapped around me tightly as we walked the short distance to the bedroom. I let my worries slip away. When I was with him, everything seemed right with the world.
Cassia: Chapter 12
It was hard to pull myself out of bed the next morning. Blade had been enthusiastic last night and I was sore. Although, the soreness was one that I’d take any day. It made me think of him and the wonderful things we did together in bed.
He’d opened my eyes to what I’d been missing in that travesty of a life back at the Converts’ compound. Nothing that Reuben did to me was sex or love. It had all been about control and his selfish needs. Rape was rape, no matter how him and the other men in the church had sugar coated it.
I’d found out during our weekend at the compound that they had more than dealt with Hiram and his leadership team. Many other families immediately left and scattered. They were just happy to get out of the whole cult. I wondered about some of them. Which ones out of the ones I’d known were among them? A deep dark part of me hoped Reuben wasn’t among them and that he’d been treated like Hiram. He’d truly exemplified the teachings of Hiram in how he treated his “wives”.
Last night when Blade mentioned wanting me to be his wife, I’d been torn. I wanted to be his true wife so much, but the term wife brought so many negative connotations to mind. I knew my experience wasn’t normal. I guess I had some PTSD from it all. Who could blame me? I knew my marriage to Reuben wasn’t legally binding.
That was still preying on my mind just a tiny bit after I got to work. Those few hours alone working to make the various baked goods gave me time to think. Blade had insisted on staying with me until someone else came in, even though I assured him it wasn’t necessary. However, he sat quietly fooling with his phone for part of it, so I had the time to think.
Just looking at him made my heart race and my hands get a little sweaty. I was still amazed that I’d been able to capture the attention of a man like him. Never in a hundred years would I have thought I could. When Erin showed up, he gave me a kiss and told me he’d see me tonight. We were going to stay at the compound rather than my place. He was slowly moving me toward going there permanently. I knew what he was up to. I let him do it. I was all for us living together, even if I was nervous. I’d packed a bag with enough clothes to last me several days.
Erin was so much nicer to work with than Jan. I wasn’t sure why she was working during the early shift when she normally worked in the afternoon to closing and on the weekends. I asked her. “Erin, I’m so happy to get to work with you. How in the world did you end up on the day shift?”
She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “I got a call late last night from Ian. He said that Jan had called off, and he needed me to work all day today. Since it’s my day off from classes and I could use the money, I said yes.”
“Did he say what was wrong with her?” I was wondering if it was due to our argument yesterday.
“He told me she was having female problems. I knew that was code for her being on her period. However, I’ve never known her to call off during that time of the month. I think it was something else, and she just told him that because she knew he wouldn’t ask more questions. He was so awkward even saying it. Why are guys so afraid of anything to do with that time of the month?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is Blade like that?”
Her question made me stop and think. Would he be? He hadn’t been around yet when I had one. I was due in less than two weeks.
“I don't know. We just started seeing each other, so he hasn’t been exposed to my monthly massacre.”
She laughed. “God, isn’t that the truth. Guys have it so easy and they have no idea what we really put up with. I tell my brothers that all the time. They just roll their eyes and tell me I’m full of it. They make me want to smack them.”
I knew she had two older brothers who were the bane of her existence whenever she tried to date a guy. They’d run off more than one hopeful. She would get so angry when they did that. One day I’d heard her muttering about dying a virgin and old maid while having fifty cats. She was a riot to listen to when she got going. “Hopefully, Blade is more evolved. What’s it like to be dating a biker?” she asked.
It was our lull period of the day, so no customers were there insisting on their fix. “What do you mean? It’s not that different from dating any guy, I imagine. I haven’t exactly dated before him. I have no one to compare him to.”
Her mouth dropped open and she gave me a shocked look. “You’ve never had a boyfriend? Why? I mean, look at you. I know you’re quiet, but you’re also gorgeous and men come in and stare at you. I’ve seen them when we’ve worked together in the past. You’re nice to everyone, but now that I think about it, you never give anyone an indication that you notice their flirting.”
“I grew up in a very unusual place and they had rules about dating that are archaic. Anyway, when I came here, I wasn’t looking for a man, not even when Blade started coming in. Sure, I noticed him. You’d have to be dead not to. However, I never thought in terms of us being a couple.”
“Are you two serious?”
