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“Well, I admit, you surprised me. I never imagined a policeman being in a motorcycle club. I learn new things every day. As for staying with her and protecting her, I’ll make sure the nurses know. You let us know if you need anything. Also, I’ll let the hospital’s head of security know of the possible threat. He might come talk to you. Now, I know you’re tired and have had a shock. I’ll leave you to rest.”
We bid him goodbye. When the door shut, Tonya finally pulled her face away from my chest. Her eyes were red and swollen and her nose was pink. She sniffed. Sorrow came off her in waves, just like I knew it was coming off me.
Tonya:
I couldn’t believe that I had been pregnant and had no idea. Other than that one day a couple of weeks ago when I threw up, I hadn’t been nauseated. Thinking back now, I was overdue for my period and my breasts were a bit tender. I’d been so busy with the kids, working, planning our wedding and the house, that I hadn’t even spared a thought for the fact I hadn’t had a period since before Law and I began to have sex.
While I had the IUD, I wasn’t sad to have gotten pregnant. I knew that we both wanted more children and Law wasn’t opposed to having them now. It hurt so much to know that I hadn’t been able to hang on to his baby. That my body couldn’t fight off the shock of the gunshot. It was his first. Lifting my head, I looked at him with sorrow in my heart.
“I’m sorry, Jake. So sorry. I know how much having a child of your own means to you. I don’t know why I couldn’t keep our baby safe. Why did my body fail me? God, I don’t know what to say.” I broke down crying again.
His gentle shaking made me pause and look back up at him. I saw anger on his face. Here it comes. He’s going to tell me how I failed as a woman and a mother.
“Don’t you dare apologize to me. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were fucking shot, Tonya. Your body naturally went through trauma and shock. I think most women would have lost their babies too. Do I hate that we lost it? Of course, I do. Even if we weren’t trying right now, you know I would want and love our baby. It happened for a reason. When you heal, if you want us to try for another baby, then we will. I’m willing when you are, but I don’t want you to think you failed or did anything wrong. You’re alive. That’s what matters. We can always try again.”
I was stunned by his words. I wish I felt like he did, but deep down inside, I still felt that I failed as a woman. That thought was pushed down as he kissed me. I let his kiss wipe everything else from my mind, even the pain in my shoulder. He was better than my pain meds.
Tonya: Chapter 18
I was kept in the hospital for four miserable days. I hated the constant in-and-out of nurses and doctors to check on me. I hated the hard bed and the less-than-decent food. I hated that Law refused to leave my side unless it was to shower. I hated that members of the club had to take time away from work and their families to stand as bodyguards outside my room. I hated that I couldn’t see my kids. Talking to them on the phone wasn’t the same. I needed to hold them. And the thing that I hated most was this damn wound and the way it made me feel helpless and had caused me to lose our baby. I couldn’t forget about our baby. It was eating away at me.
After Law wheeled me outside to leave in the wheelchair the hospital insisted I had to use, he lifted me into the car like I was going to break. His efforts were sweet, but they made me feel even less useful.
“Valkyrie, are you comfortable enough? Do you need a pillow under that arm?”
“No, it’s fine. I just want to get out of here and see the kids.”
He gave me a sweet kiss, “Then let’s go.”
He shut the door and handed off the wheelchair to the orderly who wheeled me outside. As he got in to start the car, I heard the four bikes parked behind us at patient pick-up come to life. Yeah, even driving home, I had to have an escort.
I zoned out for most of the drive except when we passed where I’d wrecked. Other than the grass being beat down and bark being scuffed off the tree, you couldn’t tell anything had happened here. Thinking of the wreck made me think of what Law had told me so far, which wasn’t much.
What it boiled down to was neither the sheriff nor the club had any idea who had been driving that car or why they shot me. It was worrying them and I knew it, even if he did try to hide it. I couldn’t think of anyone who would want to hurt me. Law and the guys thought it might be someone with a grudge against the club.
Smoke had been put on it, like usual when something like this happened. According to Soleil, this was what he did not only for the club, but sometimes for the government, although no one seemed to know the exact details of what he did for them. Only Everly did since she helped him. They were both computer geniuses.
By the time we pulled through the gates and into the compound, I was ready for the ride to be over. I should’ve taken him up on his offer of a pillow. I was trying to push myself not to be so dependent on him and others, but it hurt like a bitch and I felt weak. On top of it, I was still bleeding, which was a reminder of our loss. Law went straight to the guesthouse. He parked and got out. I undid my seatbelt and opened the door.
He scowled. “Babe, don’t do that. You know it’s my job to open doors and stuff for you,” he chided. I sighed and let him help me out. He tried to scoop me up in his arms, but I wasn’t having it.
“Law, I can walk. The doctor wants me to get stronger. I can’t if you keep trying to carry me everywhere and doing everything for me. I love you and thank you, but stop, please.”
He was the one to sigh this time. “I know, but it kills me to see you like this and do nothing. This is all I can do. If I could take away your pain and weakness, I would. Just try and bear with me. I almost lost you.”
I reached up and tugged his head down to mine so I could kiss him. When I was done, I gave him a small smile. “You’re the best man in the world and I’m so lucky to have you. I’ll try.”
“I’m the lucky one. Come on, the kids are probably driving Harlow crazy. She has them today. As soon as I get you situated in the house, I’ll text her to bring them home.”
Nodding my agreement, we slowly made our way into the house. When I got in there, I was given a surprise. There were balloons and a banner reading,Welcome Home. He helped me to sit on the couch, although he tried to get me to go to our bedroom. I propped up my arm on a pillow. He handed me three pieces of paper. I laughed when I saw them. They were pictures that the twins and Dylan had drawn for me. The twins at least had a few things recognizable like houses and stick people. Dylan’s was just colorful scribbles. It made my heart warm. Law was on the phone sending the text. After he did, he got me a bottle of water then sat down with me.
“I want you to take it easy when the kids get here. I know you’ve missed them, so have I, but you still need to rest. Later, we’ll talk about the help I’ve arranged.”
“Help? What help? Jake, you don’t need to ask others to help. I can do it. Anything I can’t, I’ll leave alone.”
He was shaking his head. Before we could launch into an argument, there was a knock at the door.
“Come in, the door’s unlocked,” he shouted. The door came crashing open and three tornadoes tore into the house. They came right for me. Before they could launch themselves in my arms, Law grabbed them. He crouched down to talk to them. Their excitement was written all over their little faces.
