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As she wrapped up the meeting and gave Sparrow the floor, Slade realized that if things were going to change between them,heneeded to change. He couldn’t continue treating her the same, knowing that she hated it.
But she sure didn’t hate his fingers buried inside her or his tongue on her nipples…
As if sensing his thoughts, she looked right at him. Their gazes caught and held. In that heartbeat, all the love inside him surfaced. Her expression softened, her eyes grew luminous.
She saw his love for her. She tried to deny she felt the same, but he read it in her eyes…in her actions.
Now he just had to figure out how to prove that they were far better together than apart.
* * * * *
Lena needed to be dismissed from this meeting before one of the guys saw that lovey-dovey bullshit on Slade’s face. It was bad enough that some of them knew that they’d been married, but the last thing she needed right now was questions about whether it was over or not.
And it most definitely was over.
Except she’d slept with him several times since the night of the gala. She spent the night in his damn arms too.
She inwardly shook herself. Hadn’t she learned anything by now? When it came to Slade, her brain was mush and her body took over, but that couldn’t happen anymore.
She needed to get serious about her plans for the future. She had a baby to think about now. She had to find a way to tell Sparrow the news and prepare herself to be kicked out of Blackout. They weren’t even supposed to have a life outside of their duty.
Look how that turned out, though. Almost every single member of Blackout was in a committed relationship. They brought their women—and kids too—underground with them and lived happily with their choices.
Why couldn’t she?
“You’re all dismissed for now until more happens behind the scenes.” Sparrow’s command couldn’t have come at a more perfect moment.
Lena’s mind swung like a pendulum, back and forth between the chances of remaining on the team and being forced out. It hurt to think of leaving her brothers-in-arms. Hurt even more to consider leaving a baby behind in the care of someone else, knowing that she might never return to raise it.
Ugh, when had her maternal instincts kicked in? She blamed Slade. Spending the night with him, sharing a bed, had probably infused her with some feminine beliefs that she never subscribed to before.
She pushed out a heavy sigh and leaned against the wall outside the war room, pretending to listen to talk of the next move.
Slade stood a short distance away from her. Once in a while, he’d break from the discussion and center his attention on her. As if his focus never totally strayed away.
A tremor coursed through her. Did she like the idea of him being so locked in on her? It scared her, for sure. The competitor in her would never let him give more than she did—and that was the real problem, wasn’t it? If she loved him even more than he loved her, how would she ever be able to go on if something happened to him?
The gray dawn of their relationship broke on that realization.
Hadn’t he been trying to explain thisvery thingto her all along? Especially after Bosnia, when he’d killed a man to keep him from making a move toward Lena. He said he couldn’t entertain the idea of losing her.
And she’d pushed him away to protect herself from the same damn thing.
She must have made a noise because Mustang broke from his discussion with Apollo and shot her a glance.
“Everything all right, Graham?”
Other than the fact that her life was a mess, things were peachy. She only had to come to terms with her ex about their surprise baby, figure out how to be part of Blackout whileraising a child, and keep from letting on to Slade that he was right about her being stubborn.
Why had it taken this long to realize that they wereso muchalike? Neither could tolerate the idea of being apart. Difference was that Lena ran from those feelings, while Slade stayed and fought.
For her entire military career, men had been telling her that she didn’t have what it took to reach the top. Now she was knocked up and letting her emotions run the show. Guess that made them right, after all.
She pushed away from the wall. She needed some space—all these huge, muscled men standing around was starting to suffocate her.
As she pushed past Sparrow, he held up a hand. “Don’t go just yet, Graham. Bishop and I were just discussing your ideas from the meeting.”
“Oh?” She sliced a look at Slade and found his gaze trained on her, an expression of pride scrawled all over his godlike features.
