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Daria laughs, her gaze sliding over to the play place. I follow her gaze, instantly finding where Lilah and Elaine are, sliding down a swirling slide one by one. Their giggles are loud, and I can pick out Lilah’s over the sounds all of the other kids are making.
“Can I ask you something?” Daria questions. “And if it’s too personal, you can totally tell me to fuck off and mind my own business.”
That pulls a slightly startled laugh out of me, Daria’s own mouth twitching up. “Oh, God,” I say with a smile. “Ask away.”
Genuine curiosity swims in Daria’s blue eyes. “Would you want to have kids of your own some day?”
Her question takes me by surprise only a little, and truthfully, I don’t find the question to be insulting or anything. I guess because I know Daria doesn’t mean for it to be taken that way, and that makes a difference. I smile softly, finger absently trailing along a swirling groove in the wood top of the table. “Someday, yeah,” I answer with a nod.
With an interested tilt of her head, Daria asks, “Would you keep nannying when you have kids?”
Her question gives me pause, even if it’s one I have thought about every now and then—especially in recent months. I love my job, and it’s not like I have to quit it if I someday start a family of my own. I could still keep nannying—I just wouldn’t be a twenty-four/seven one like I am now. Just a couple hours a day so I can be at home with my own kids. I fiddle with the straw of my drink. Part of me feels like if I quit my job when I start a family, it would be like admitting that I was just a nanny—that I devoted all of my time and energy to kids that aren’t mine—to fill a void in my life. Realistically, I know that that’s not true. I didn’t choose this job to make up for something that I lack. I chose it so these kids that I look afterdidn’tfeel like they were lacking anything. I’d been there, I used to be one of them. In some cases, I still am.
But as much as I love my job, would I still be able to do it when I have my own kids? Nannying is already hard enough on its own—who is to say I would be able to keep doing it when I have my own kid tiring me out at home? Who knows if I’d be able to keep up with my own children and somebody else’s?
Then again, all of these are problems and concerns to have in a blurry future.
“I’m not sure,” I answer Daria, because it’s the most truthful answer I can come up with at the moment. “It can go either way, if I’m being honest.”
Daria nods, understanding. “I get it,” she says. Then, she changes course and asks, “When are you and Lilah going to be joining us for the away games?”
I laugh lightly. “In the next month or so,” I say. Bringing my shoulders up to my ears, I add on, “Selfishly, I hope it will be for the New York game. I’d love to see Manhattan again.”
It’s been a few years since I’ve been to New York, the most recent being joining the last family I’d worked for on their trip. They had a gorgeous penthouse overlooking Central Park, and the thought alone of how much it cost to live there made my heart hurt. Especially given the fact that the family didn’t go to New York that often, but owned the penthouse anyway. I may have grown up in a family of money, but I was no stranger to getting dizzy by overly expensive things. Particularly when I started paying for everything out of my own bank account and not touching the trust fund my parents set up for me.
Frankly, I’m surprised I still have access to it.
When the waitress comes back with our food, Daria and I call out to Elaine and Lilah, and the girls come running and out of breath, sliding into the booth. We sanitize their hands, and I cut Lilah’s fried chicken sandwich in half so it’s easier for her to eat. As we dig in, I ask Daria, “How’s the wedding planning going?”
She smiles, her entire face lighting up at the mention of her upcoming nuptials. The thought of Caden alone has stars dancing in her eyes, and it’s romantic as all hell. The glimmer in her eyes goes perfectly with the diamond ring glittering on her finger. “Pretty smoothly, actually,” Daria says with a laugh, like she almost can’t believe it. “Between me, Caden, and my two best friends, we’ve got it all under control so far.”
I grin. “Caden’s heavily involved in the planning?”
“Oh, yeah,” Daria nods, her eyes widening with her smile as she puts some ketchup on Elaine’s plate. “He wants to know everything that’s going on. If he’s not busy with work, he’s helping out with planning everything. Besides, he’s the one who keeps a list of everyone who’s going to be invited.” She rolls her eyes good naturedly. “An NFL player gets married, and you gotta make sure no one is left out unless you want to cause unnecessary drama.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Sounds like a lot of politics.”
“Yeah, but—” Daria shrugs, reaching for a fry. “What do I care? At the end of the day, we get to be married. That’s all that matters, you know?”
I didn’t know. Not really. But I still smile and nod. “Yeah.”
7
LEO
“You’re not serious.”
Reed’s expression doesn’t change from its usual stoicism. “It wasn’t my idea.”
I exhale deeply, sharply through my nose, resisting the urge to massage the spot between my eyes. “I didn’t know your wife was such a meddler.”
There’s a small crack in his mask because of a tiny grin that touches his mouth at the mention of Willow. “Among other things,” he murmurs before the mask is back. “She got the idea in her head when you talked about settling down in the car the other week—”
I gape at him. “I sure as shit didn’t say that,” I interrupt. Reed purses his lips. “I distinctly remember sayingnowhen Willow asked if I was ready to settle down with someone.”
Reed shrugs, unapologetic and disinterested as his gaze remains on the road. “Clearly, Willow doesn’t care. Look, we’re here and they’re already waiting for us inside. Just sit through the meal and if you’re not into her, then whatever. It’s not the end of the world.”
I throw him an exasperated look. “Yeah, until someone snaps a picture that trends on Twitter and everyone suddenly thinks I’ve got a girlfriend.”
