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A smile returns to Leo’s face, one that relaxes his features and makes my stomach flip at the sight. His thumb strokes the back of my hand as he says, “We’ll take things slow.”
My throat works. “Or we just. . . take them at our own pace. Whatever feels right for us.”
Whether that means actually taking them slow or not, I don’t care. I don’t want to put any kind of pressure on us, and coming to a solid decision of how we want to go about this is a kind of pressure in and of itself. I feel as though having ago with the flowtype of attitude would work best for us—especially for myself. There is an ease I have felt with Leo from the moment I met him, and at that point, I only allowed myself to look at him as the father of the kid I am taking care of.
He’s a good, hands-on father, kind and genuine instead of letting his fame and fortune take away his unpretentiousness. Leo is a refreshing change from the parents I am used to working for, the parents I was barely raised by, and I have no doubt that has played a role in how effortless it felt to fall for him. How it happened without me barely even noticing it. Leo snuck up on me, and I have a feeling I snuck up on him, too. Neither of us saw each other coming, yet here we are anyway.
So, trying to lighten the mood, I shoot Leo a smile and comment, “The food is delicious, by the way.”
His smile widens and it knocks the air out of my lungs. “Not just stroking my ego?” he asks teasingly.
I scoff out a laugh, rolling my eyes. “Never.” We continue eating, sharing silly grins that make my heart flutter, and maybe the wine is providing some courage because I find myself asking, “Can I be honest?”
Leo meets my gaze, and although his eyes are light, they turn serious. “Always.”
Although my cheeks warm, I find myself smiling a little as I admit, “This is my first date in a...in a while.”
My words leave me feeling a little bare and exposed, but not in a truly bad way. If anything, I feel a little lighter. I don’t know why I felt the need to let Leo in on that little fact, but the need rose without much of a thought, and suddenly I was overcome with the urge to tell him. It’s not something I’m embarrassed about—it’s just that I haven’t gone on a date with anyone because of my relationship with Oliver, and it had turned me off from wanting to go out with another guy.
Until Leo.
A soft smile curves at his mouth. “Honestly? Me too.” When I part my lips, he rushes on, “Jocelyn doesn’t count.” I can’t help but laugh at the fact that he knew I was going to tease him about it. “I’ve either just never had the time because of work, or I just wasn’t interested in anyone like that.” Light brown eyes meet my blue. “Until there was you.”
My heart tumbles. Soars. Stutters. It does a hell of a lot in response to Leo saying those four words that sink so deep in me that I want to say to hell with dinner and have him the way I have been wanting to.
Frankly, it’sinsaneto me that this man—this handsome, athletic, millionaire who is one of the top bachelors in the country—has broken his streak of not going on dates forme. Part of me is waiting to wake up from this dream and return to the reality of me being Leo’s nanny and carrying nothing more than an unrequited crush for him. Even as we sit here, sharing a meal that he cooked specifically for me, there is still a small, insecure part of me that wonders how this could be happening to me.
When you grow up lacking any real attention from your parents, it unfortunately takes a toll on your self-confidence. I so badly wish that wasn’t the case for me, but it is, no matter how much I pretend it hasn’t affected me growing up. Even though I had Camila, who always felt more of a maternal figure than a nanny, I often found myself wondering why I wasn’t good enough for my parents to stick around. Why they always put their work above me. Why bother having a kid if you’re not going to be around to be a parent?
And then I met Oliver, and as nice as that relationship had been in the beginning, the turn it had taken was for the worse. He had gone from being thoughtful and sweet to always trying to control me, trying to belittle me and make me feel like I had to depend on him. The last little while I had been with him was an emotional hell full of manipulation and gaslighting, and I told myself I would never allow myself to get into a situation like that again.
So, even though I want to be cautious with going into whatever this is with Leo, there is a voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me that I would be safe with him. It is not lost on me that that voice had been absent when I first started dating Oliver.
“Hey,” Leo’s gentle voice pulls me out of my thoughts, along with his knee gently nudging mine under the table. “Come back.”
I blink back into the present, a breathless and slightly embarrassed giggle escaping me as I do. “Sorry,” I say with a small smile.
“What were you thinking about?”
I meet his gaze, and the honest answer slips out of me easily. “You.”
11
LEO
“Really?” I ask with a slow grin, admiring the pretty pink across her cheeks. “What were you thinking about?”
Alex’s own grin is secretive, an eyebrow quirking up. “Nowyou’re asking me to stroke your ego,” she teases, earning a chuckle from me. Leaning back in the chair, Alex shrugs, her smile growing slightly as she says, “I was just thinking of how nice this is, doing this with you. As unknown as this territory is for both of us, I’m glad that it’s with you.”
Her cheeks pinken even more by the time she’s done speaking, reaching for her glass of wine as a way, I have a feeling, to hide part of her face even for a moment as I let her words sink in. Hearing her say that fills me with a kind of warmth that I can only describe as contentment and relief. It takes away some of the tension I had felt creep into my bones when Alex had said that what we are beginning to explore between us could possibly end badly, and how it was freaking her out.
But she had been quick to assure me that, even so, she wants to go for it. Despite the reasons we maybe shouldn’t, we were still on the same page. Uncertainty be damned, we both want this, and we can’t seem to find a way to deny ourselves this.
“You and me both, honey,” I murmur.
“Leo?”
“Yes?”
