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“Why?” I hissed angrily, “Why do I have to see him?”
“Because I think you might get some peace from it.”
“I don’t want peace.” I cried, feeling my shoulders sag in defeat again, “I want my family back!”
“I know.” He said sadly, “I know you do, D.”
Four hours later I sat in a visitation room inside of the Rawlings County Jail with Colt at my side. I’d been searched, questioned and judged from the second I walked through the door, and it made me feel sick.
Like I was the bad guy.
And I guess, visiting a bad guy kind of made me one.
My knee bounced rapidly underneath the table as the cold AC made my skin pebble up with goosebumps. “I shouldn’t be here.” I whispered for the millionth time since walking in.
Colt put his hand on my knee, making it stop and patted it somewhat affectionately. I didn’t want to like him. I didn’t want to lean on him like my brother had, because he had failed Blaine. And if push came to shove, he would fail me too because he didn’t owe me a fucking thing.
“Remember, everything discussed and done in these rooms is recorded. He could catch charges for more if it’s spoken about in here. You and I aren’t immune either.”
“Charges?” I rolled my eyes, “Like anything I have on him could be worse than what he already admitted to.”
A loud buzzing noise sounded from outside the solid steel door, and I jumped in surprise. I watched in silent horror as it opened, and three guards led Fox in. His hair was shaved down to a short buzz cut and it made him look even more angry and menacing. He wore a bright orange jump suit with his wrists and ankles shackled to a heavy chain around his waist. He had to shuffle his feet to walk and I hated how incapacitated it made him look.
Tears burned in my eyes and nose from the pure weight of seeing him again after I swore, I’d never lay eyes on him again.
He stared at me the entire time he walked across the room in the painful shuffle. His hazel eyes looked dull and washed out in the fluorescent lights, his skin was flat and gray. I hated everything about it.
Even if I knew he deserved this and more.
I hated it.
I ached to get him out of here.
That killed me, because it meant, even after everything, I still wasn’t loyal to my brother. Not even in the grave as I stared his killer down with my own eyes.
“Prez.” Fox nodded to Colt as he gently sat down on the metal stool attached to his side of the table. The guards arraigned his chains aggressively and one grunted, “No touching, no swearing, and no acting out. Got it St. Claire?”
“Got it, boss.” Fox said back as he stared at me openly. I tried to read the look in his eyes but couldn’t see past the mask he wore towards me.
When the guards left the room, Colt leaned forward on the table, “How you doing kid?”
“Fine.” Fox said gruffly, but I could hear the negation to that in his voice. He was not okay. I wanted to know why I cared in the first place, but also, I wanted to know what was happening behind the cinderblock walls that had him on edge.
“Maddie got back in town today.” Colt said, looking at me over his shoulder where I sat hunched over. “D, didn’t tell her until right before we came. She bolted.”
Fox looked back over to me, “Why didn’t you tell her?”
I licked my lips and felt my nostrils quiver as emotions threatened to boil over inside of me and make me snap. “That’s the first thing you have to say to me?” I whispered angrily.
He swallowed and sat up taller, “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He licked his lips and sighed, “You’re losing weight.” He let his eyes fall down my torso, “A lot of weight.”
“Fuck you.” I hissed.
He finally showed the first ounce of emotion as my words hit their mark, but only for a fraction of a second before he turned away to look at Colt again. “I told you there was no point.”
“I saw how you were together. Before.” Colt nodded and sighed like he wanted to say something more. “I’m just trying to save even a small bit of that. Make it last, ya know?”
“What does that mean?” I looked over at the hulking man next to me. “Make what last?”
