AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Thank you,” I say, feeling slightly better. Markus has said this before, and I know he’s right. When Grigory commits, he commits.
“How are you?” I ask, needing to change the subject.
“I’m busy.” The smile in his voice tells me it’s a good busy—it usually is with Markus. “I have a lot of preparations for the tour andLa Traviatain Budapest. It’s gonna be a hectic fall. But right now, I’m looking forward to doing one moreToscashow.”
I breathe a wistful sigh. “I wish I could be there.” Not only would I love to see the show again, but both of my two favorite men are going to be there tonight.
“You know, Grigory talked about bringing you to Berlin on Wednesday. You’d get to see the last show, and we could all have a talk. We won’t get many opportunities to do so once I go on tour in a couple of weeks, and we need to figure out how this is going to work.”
“That would be good. Being here alone with Grigory feels wrong sometimes. It will help to see both of you—just to feel that you’re both okay with this weird arrangement.”
“Makes sense, sweetie. You’re doing great, though. I really thought you would have more reactions to this new dynamic.”
“Doing great?” I huff. “Right now I feel like I’m barely holding it together.”
“You are,” Markus assures. “Frankly, I’d thought you’d need a lot more than one sick day before starting school. But Grigory tells me you’re both reading and playing several hours a day.”
Disappointment drops into my belly at his words. “Is that how you see me? So fragile?”
“Youarevery sensitive, sweetie. Nothing wrong with that. And this summer has been hard on you. Needing time to recuperate would only be natural.” When I remain silent, he continues. “Why don’t you take the day off? Be good to yourself. Buy some ice cream, watch a movie. I’ll let Grigory know I’ve allowed it.”
“Okay,” I agree, feeling a little better when we say goodbye. But the unease remains. No matter how many reassurances Markus gives me, I don’t think I’ll be able to fully relax before Grigory is back here with me. On top of that, Markus’s words about having expected me to need more sick days linger at the back of my head, and I feel like a fragile mess as I crawl under the comforter and start a movie.
I know he didn’t mean it in a bad way. I know I’m sensitive—always have been. But still, I feel broken. Like I’ll fall apart at the slightest pressure.
An hour later, my phone vibrates with an incoming text. I’m in bed, under the comforter, watching the Minions movie. Reaching for my phone on the nightstand, I expect to find a text from Markus but am surprised to find it’s from Grigory. I hadn’t thought I’d hear from him until he returned—he doesn’t seem like the type to text or call without good cause.
How are you holding up?
I go for a brief reply.I’m okay.
Devochka, be honest with me.
God, he’s bossy even over text. I stare at the words for a minute, considering giving him a simple explanation, just saying I’m tired. Instead, I go for honesty. It’s much easier over text, and I do want to tell him how I feel.
I hate that you and Markus see me as fragile and weak.
My fingers tremble slightly as I wait for his reply. I feel like I’m putting too much of myself out there. It only takes a minute, and my breath barely works as I read.
You’re not weak. You’re submissive to the bone. And unlucky to fall into the claws of a Dom who wasn’t ready to take responsibility for such beautiful submission.
I stare flabbergasted at the screen, struck silent by his honest words. Instead of agreeing that I have this weak spot—being sensitive like Markus called it—he turns it around to something beautiful. Something worth cherishing. I have no idea how to reply, and before I can type out anything, another message pops up.
Have you heard of Darwin’s theory? Survival of the fittest.
I frown a little, wondering what he’s getting at as I type out ayesand hit send.
It’s the fittest. Not the strongest. Life is not about being strong, but rather about finding the place you fit in.And you have done so. You’ve strayed from the regular path to embrace your submission and to be with two Doms. Doing so takes tremendous courage.
My heart speeds up as I read. I don’t feel courageous at all, yet what he says makes sense. I’ve always gone my own way instead of trying to fit into the regular mold. I’ve pursued my love for music, taken the less popular road to play classical piano, and stayed home to practice every Friday when my peers went out to party and get drunk. And now I’ve not only embraced my submission but also thrown myself into this strange dynamic of being with two men.
I type out a brief but sincere reply.
Thank you. That helped.
And it truly did. The uncertainty may still hover around the edges of my mind, but I don’t feel broken anymore, and when I receive Grigory’s next message, I’m a little more confident that he means the words.
You’re welcome, devochka. See you tomorrow at noon.
