Page 47 of If I Were Yours


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I consider leaving the room to take the call, but we’re supposed to have a break in fifteen minutes, and I figure he’ll call again if it’s something urgent. So when my phone stops vibrating and remains still, I shove the worries away. But my curiosity refuses to let me focus on the lecture.

Of course, the professor drags out his rant about music and intermediality, and my fingers are tapping on the table when he finally releases us for a break.

Before I’ve even left the room, I have the phone to my ear.

Grigory picks up on the second ring. “I’m coming to see you tonight,” he says. Nohiorhow are you.Straight to the chase.

I exit the building and retreat into the courtyard to get some privacy from the smokers.

“Tonight?” I say, a bit perplexed. He was supposed to come in a week. No one has said anything about tonight.

“I have something important I need to talk to you about.”

Unease speeds up my words. “Is everything okay? Is Markus okay?”

“Of course. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Then what is it?”

Grigory doesn’t grant me an answer. “Clara, I gotta go. My meeting starts in two minutes. I’ll be at your place around eight. I’m bringing dinner.”With that, he hangs up, and I stare at the screen, baffled.

Then I tap Markus’s name in my call log, hoping he’ll give me some kind of explanation. Five rings, and his voice tells me to leave a message. I try again with the same result, then settle for a text.

Why is Grigory coming tonight?

Two agonizing hours pass before I get a response as frustrating as Grigory’s.

He has some news he wants to tell you in person.

Another hour passes before I learn that Markus won’t divulge more. All he tells me is that Grigory is staying two nights.

And thus, I’m left to spend the rest of the day in restless wonder.

***

I must say, I’m quite frustrated when Grigory finally arrives at half past eight in the evening. And hungry, which tends to get me cranky.

“What’s going on?” I say, forgoing any form of greeting like he did earlier today. “You can’t just say you have something important to tell me, then hang up.” I think I’m actually glaring at him, my arms crossed in a not-so-welcoming stance.

Grigory keeps up the infuriating silence, watching me with a bemused smile as he kicks off his shoes and removes his jacket.

I start shrinking when he crosses the small hall. God, it’s difficult to remain defiant under the gaze of this powerful man. When he places a hand on my shoulder and leans in, it’s like his resolve radiates straight through his touch, weakening my own.

“Is this one of yourfeeling hungry tantrumsMarkus warned me about?” he whispers against my ear and presses a soft kiss to my cheek.

The deep rumble of his voice has me melting inside, and my crossed arms lose their firmness.

Grigory takes a white plastic bag that he left on the floor and disappears into the kitchen area, leaving me to wobble on my jelly-like legs.

How can one minute in his presence mess with my equilibrium so thoroughly?

I join him in the main room, and suddenly, I’m overcome by the need to feel him as I watch him move about the tiny kitchen, so very close yet too far away.

“Can I have a hug?” I say tentatively. I’m not used to asking him for things.

Grigory stops unpacking the food and turns. His eyes soften when they find me. With two long steps, he closes the distance and pulls me into a warm hug, offering me the stability I can’t find on my own.

God, it’s good to be back in his arms. I inhale his earthy scent as I burrow my nose into his chest. Another inhale brings me a whiff of warm spices. Cinnamon and cloves? Maybe cumin?

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