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He had fucked her.
He was fucking her.
He had probablyneverstopped fucking her, and I...I had no right to complain.
Because it was what he said.I had asked for it.
“Say something,” the billionaire gritted out from behind, and I wanted to laugh madly at his words.What was there to say?
“Fredericka—-” His fingers brushed against my arm.
“No!” I recoiled violently, my skin crawling at his touch. I didn’t care if I wasn’t making any sense. All I knew was that I couldn’t stomach having his fingers touch me, knowing that those same fingers had grazed another woman’s skin—-
The thought ripped my heart apart, and I shook my head wildly. “I have to go.” And without looking back, I stumbled inside my apartment and slammed the door shut, pushing it with my back. I managed to lock the door before sliding down to the floor, my energy disappearing in an instant.
I stared blindly at my surroundings, my mind still trapped in a nightmarish world where all I could see was the billionaire making love to Madeline Carter over and over and over.
You had asked for this, Fredericka Spears.
I breathed hard, willing myself to calm down. I couldn’t let myself be affected. This was what I wanted. This was how I protected myself...but God, how could playing it safe hurt so much?
****
THE REST OF THE WEEKENDwent like a blur. I couldn’t remember what I did, all I knew was that time flew past me without being aware of it. By Sunday night, I felt like a zombie and I was in my bed at seven in the evening, lethargic and numb.
If I had the keys to the office, I would have been there in an instant, working my ass off. I needed something to keep me busy. Anything to get my mind off the fact that Sergei Grachyov had been fucking another woman while he was my...friend.
I kept my eyes wide open at the thought, knowing that if I let myself blink, it would be over, and my eyes wouldn’t be able to stay dry.
Sergei, Sergei, Sergei.
Both my heart and body ached, but the pain wasn’t the same for the two. There was no alleviating the hurt in my heart, but the way my body felt restless...the way it ached in different places, craving for a particular kind of heat—-
A sliver of a thought slipped insidiously in my mind, and the moment it took hold, there was no way to forget. There was no way to pretend that such a possibility existed.
I stretched out on the bed, even more restless now, uncomfortably hot even though the air-conditioning was on full blast. I looked around me in the darkness, gulping at what I was considering.
Could I do this? Could I really do this?
Even with the room submerged in a world of blackness, I still felt completely exposed and I nervously reached for the covers, pulling them all the way up to my neck. Only then did I allow my legs to slowly part, wider and wider, until they were completely spread apart, and forced the folds of my pussy to expand open.
The position was uncomfortable and arousing, and my face heated up at the realization. Guilt stirred inside of me, but even so I could no longer stop myself. My hand drifted down my body, which tensed when my fingers brushed over my nipple. As my hand continued its descent, I could feel both my nipples turning erect, and the guilt inside me deepened. This time, there was no hiding the fact that I was pleasuring myself.
I squeezed my eyes shut more tightly.
Sergei.
Both my hands started to move as I pretended it was the Russian billionaire caressing my body. I cupped my breast as my other hand stroked my folds over my panties, which had already become sticky wet with my need. I began to pinch my nipples, as hard as I imagined Sergei Grachyov would do it, and a whimper escaped from my throat.
It felt so good.
This felt so, so good.
The fingers over my pussy moved up, right above my shaking, swollen clit. I imagined Sergei holding that tiny nub of flesh, and my fingers moved as his would. I began to rub my pleasure spot, slowly at first then faster and harder.
Aaaaaaaaaah.
I squeezed my breast hard.
