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Fuck, why did I say that?
The hope in her eyes guttered out, the tension around us ratcheting up a notch.
“I see.” She glanced away and guilt washed over me.
“Principessa, look at me.” I gently gripped her chin, forcing her eyes back to mine. “I lied. It isn’t just a silly nickname.”
“Because you… like me?”
“It doesn’t matter, Alessia. All that matters is that I get you out of this, safe and unharmed. Okay?”
“It matters to me.” Defiance burned in her eyes.
“Don’t do this. Whatever you feel… whatever I might feel, it can never be.” I let out a heavy sigh, wishing things could be different. Silently wishing that she wasn’t the Marchetti princess and I wasn’t one of her father’s grunts.
“Because I’m just a silly naïve girl—”
“No. Never. But Nicco, your father, they wouldn’t understand.”
Hell, I wasn’t sure I understood it.
“And what about what I want? Doesn’t that count for something? We could die out here, Tristan. They could hunt us down like animals and I’ll never have known…” Alessia slammed her lips together, trapping whatever words she’d been about to say.
“We need to eat,” I said, needing a distraction. Needing a reason to get out of the cabin for a minute and catch my fucking breath.
I couldn’t stand it. The pain and terror in her eyes. The dejection.
“We’re in the middle of nowhere, Tristan.” She let out a bitter laugh that made me flinch. “What are you going to do, forage for berries?”
My eyes narrowed and I clicked my tongue. “Stay here. Don’t move, I’ll tap twice. I’ll be back as soon as I find something we can eat.”
“We don’t need something to eat,” she snapped. “We need to get out of here, we need—”
“What would you have me do? Risk running into those… those stronzos again? They’ll kill me, Principessa. And then they’ll…”
“Don’t. Don’t say it.” She inhaled a sharp ragged breath, the blood drained from her face.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I dropped to my knees beside the bed and reached for her, grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her into me.
“I shouldn’t have said that… I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s okay.”
Alessia touched her head to mine, looking up at me with those haunting eyes of hers.
“Nothing about this is okay, Principessa.”
Not a damn thing.
“I’m okay.”
“Okay. I won’t be long. Don’t hesitate to use this.” I pressed the pistol into her hand. My hand brushed along her jaw, my eyes dropping to her mouth.
“Tristan…” Half-whisper, half-plea, the desperation in her voice almost snapped my restraint. It would have been so easy to kiss her, to take what she was so obviously offering.
But I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t be the man who took advantage of her. Not when we’d been thrust into this nightmare.
