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Her hand claps over her mouth, pupils dilated. “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”
Sliding down a seat, I get closer to her. “Listen, Scar,” I begin, but I’m cut off when Crew and Jagger walk in the classroom, all broody and broad-shouldered.
“I’m listening,” she whispers. “Ignore them. Tell me.” The desperation in her tone is apparent, but I can’t. Not now.
“Meet me in the courtyard at lunch.” I look at the guys, who are now standing behind us. “All of you.”
ChapterTwenty-Three
SCAR
“Any idea what this is about?”Crew asks. All three of us are confused about why Neo wanted us to meet him here, but I have an idea and I’m certain it’s because of me.
He’s gonna tell the guys my secret now. Even after he told me he’d keep it.Dammit!I’m a fool for believing anything Neo says.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Jagger says. “It’s about that fucking leech mark on her neck.” He flips my hair for the second time, observing the mark. He’s still angry with me and I have no idea how I’m going to repair the damage I’ve done, but I have to try.
“Before he gets here, do you mind if we all talk?”
Jagger drops down on the ground, knees bent, legs spread. “Have at it.”
I don’t even know where to begin, so I start with. “I’m sorry, you guys. I was scared and confused and those feelings made me do selfish and reckless things. The truth is, I don’t wanna lose either of you.” I clutch my chest because it hurts so bad. Tears prick the corners of my eyes, but I fight like hell to hold them back.
“Don’t cry,” Crew says, rubbing his hand down the sleeve of my winter coat. He knows me so well. I don’t even have to shed a tear for him to know they’re coming. But it’s his sentiment that makes them fall, because I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve him. He crouches down an inch and pulls me close. With my chin resting on his shoulder, I look down at Jagger, who’s now balling some snow in his hands while soaking his ass in it.
“I don’t know what to do to fix this, but I wanna try.” I choke out the words, while looking at Jagger, hoping for a reaction from him. “Please let me try.”
Finally, he looks up, a snowball clutched in one hand. “Tell us the truth. That’d be a good start.” He squeezes the ball, crushing it to particles that fall weightlessly from his hand.
I nod, while swallowing down the painful ball in my throat. Crew steps back, observing me while I speak. When I start to choke up again, he takes my hand—his way of telling me he’s here for me.“Okay. I told you why I ended things with you guys. Neo was keeping a secret that he threatened to expose.”
“Don’t care about that,” Jagger says. “Why’d you fuck him?”
I’m taken aback by his hostility, but I won’t let it stop me from saying everything I need to say.
“I planned to seduce him and cuff him to his bed until he told me the truth.”
I scratch the back of my neck, realizing how ridiculous that sounds. “Obviously, it failed.” I hold up my wrist, showing them the cuff marks that I received instead.
Jagger jumps to his feet and grabs one of my wrists. “He did that to you?”
“Yes. But I allowed it.” Shame, mixed with guilt, stirs in my stomach.
“Why the hell…” Jagger waves his hand between us. “Never mind. Just get on with it.”
I take in a deep breath and let it out in one blow. “Things got intense. Almost to an unstoppable point. He was different. Gentle, almost. Then he promised to tell me what he knew if I had sex with him.”
“Gentle, my ass,” Crew blurts out. “He took advantage of you.”
“No,” I snap, needing to make myself clear. “I wanted it. I wanted the truth more, but it was consensual.” I pause for a beat, eyes dancing between the two of them. “Then he told me.”
“So what was it?” Jagger asks. “What was this big secret he used to crawl between your legs?”
“Can we talk about that later? First, I wanna talk about us.”
“Not gonna lie, Scar,” Jagger begins. “I’m pretty pissed that you lied. If you want to sleep with Neo, at least have the courtesy of talking with us about it first.”
“I know.” I sob. “I’m so damn sorry. There’s no excuse. I should have been honest about everything from the beginning.” I’m full-on bawling now and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop. “Is there any way you guys can possibly forgive me?”
