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“You have a standing sex time?”
“Don’t you with Mav?”
Her mouth dropped open. “You actually do?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my God, Theo.” She closed her eyes for a moment, then came over and patted my chest. “You need help.”
“I know. Where’s Mallory? She’s not answering any of my texts and she was obviously–and strangely–angry about the house.”
“Out of town.”
“What do you mean out of town? She was in town yesterday.”
“Yeah, when you showed her the house you bought for her.” She sighed. “Look, she’s not a patient you see at a certain time, examine them then send on their way. Wait, you get what I mean. I’m not saying that you have sex with patients. I’m saying you can’t treat Mallory like you’re providing her a service.”
“But–”
“I get it. She wanted sex. You gave it to her instead of Tom and his dirty dick.”
“Exactly.”
“But it changed. You bought her a house.”
“Right.”
“You have feelings for her.”
I shook my head.
“You tackled entering high school, which is like a modern day fortress, just to ask me where Mallory is.”
“Right.”
She studied me as I wondered why we were talking in circles. “For a guy who’s so smart, you are the biggest doofus I’ve ever met.”
“I’m not sure if I should be offended or wait for you to clarify.”
With a huff and a shake of her head, she finally said, “You and Mallory are perfect for each other. Stubborn. Prideful. Idiots.”
I realized this was one of those times where I should remain silent.
“Okay. Let’s see how this shakes out. Remember you have my back when she hates me later this week.”
I blinked. “I don’t know what that means. Is it some kind of girl code?”
“Like thediarrheais for boys?” she countered.
I couldn’t help but grin at her witty reply.
“Mallory is in”—she glanced at the clock on the wall– “or almost in, Las Vegas for a court appearance tomorrow morning.”
“That is the last thing I expected you to say.” She remained silent. “Court hearing for what?”
She shook her head. “She has to tell you that.”
Before I moved out of Mav’s house, it was distinctly possible I heard him spank Bridget. As a kink. But still, I wished Mav was here to give her a spanking now to talk. Why the hell would Mallory have a court appearance in Las Vegas? She’d been there… last weekend? Not even two weeks ago. Oh fuck. What the hell happened to her on that trip? I knew bachelor parties went a little wild, but Mallory in Vegas for a bachelorette weekend?
