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“She refused the James Corp loan out of fear of being financially controlled by a man she had sex with.”
“Are you saying this is a trend, or just me?” I wondered. I didn’t want to think of her having sex with her ex, or him controlling her somehow with money, but that would be hypocritical. If this was the case, he was old news. I was the one who was fucking her and fucking her well.
I wouldn’t control her with money. No way.
“I don’t know, but you were there. She was adamant.”
“And I accepted that, but you saidshe had sex with.We’re having sex,” I clarified. “I might be in San Francisco, but it’s definitely not past tense. When I get back to town–”
“Whatever.” I had a feeling she waved her hand through the air. “My point is, now you’re financially controlling her again, but this timewithout her knowing it’s you.This is exactly what she doesn’t want.”
“Too bad. There is no way in hell I’m letting other men see her like this. And we both know–you and me–that I wouldn’t fuck with that loan. This is only a different way for me to give her the money. This time, no interest, no paying it back.”
“But there is still a cost, Silas.”
“No there isn’t,” I countered. “It’s me. We’ve had sex. There’s nothing different about what we did and what we’re doing in a cam room except the actual sex part.”
“TMI,” she grumbled. “She’s camming. That’s her cost. It goes to show how determined she is not to take the loan from us. And how much she needs one.”
“She’s camming for me. Me. CEOBill. Not a stranger.”
“CEOBill?”
“My screen name.”
“Well, in that room, you are a stranger to her. She doesn’t know it’s you!” She sighed. “Silas. Youlikeher. How are you going to take her out on a date or whatever without telling her you know?”
“I can’t tell her I know.”
“She needs to know it's you. You have to tell her.”
“There’s no way she can know I know. She won’t take the money, and like you said, she needs it. Me knowing is enough.”
“Well, I know that you know, and she doesn’t know that you know. I can’t look her in the eye knowing that she doesn’t know when I know that you know. What am I supposed to do?”
This was getting ridiculous and really hard to follow. “Don’t do anything. I’ll be back in a week. I’ll take care of it.”
“No. Today. You have to call her and tell her it’s you in that room, today.”
“Fine.”
I’d tell her today. If I only knew how.
21
EVE
CEOBill was back.Not just back, but he’d booked all my time. For the rest of the month.
“Hi, Billy. You must really like romance books to want to talk with a naughty librarian every night,” I said, looking at his black screen on my laptop. The computer was on my bed in front of me, as usual.
I’m greedy. I want you to be naughty only for me.
I wasn’t sure if I liked the idea of that, of talking only with him, whoever he was. Showing myself to hundreds of men at once, even if I did flash them a little cleavage, was less intimate and the last thing I wanted was to get personal with a guy in a cam room.
“I’m notthatnaughty,” I reminded. “I’m not ready yet to do too much. I mean, the things I read aloud… I don’t think I could do them.”
You could do them all, with the right person.
