Page 82 of Man Splain


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“I mean, he’s a surgeon and should be talented with scissors.”

“Actually, he sucks at scissors,” Mallory replied, then paused in her turkey body cutting. “I should get a scalpel for him and he can cut them that way on a cutting board. I bet his feathers would be precise.”

“That means we can stop?” Bridget asked, another leaf falling into her pile of brown ones.

“No. These need to be done for tomorrow and Theo’s off with Mav. Don’t worry, Hanukkah’s coming and he’ll be doing all the candles for the menorahs in a few weeks.”

They’d been like this since I arrived, talking about ridiculous things, anything besides the huge elephant in the room. Me and Silas. I knew it was coming. Hell, I was impressed they made it this long.

We cut for a minute or so in silence before Mallory piped up.

“So Eve,” she began, grabbing another piece of paper. “Bridge filled me in on your double life.”

I stopped mid-cut and stared.

“Your cam job?” Mallory grinned. “It’s awesome! I could connect you with my friends Trixie and Annie. They’re call girls in Vegas and could give you some pointers.”

My mouth fell open because not only was that a surprise, but she mentioned having call girls as friends with a surprising casualness.

“Thanks,” I said. “But I quit.” It was such old news now.

“Oh? That’s a bummer. I mean, reading sex scenes is genius. You could do that forever.”

Mallory put down her scissors and grabbed the box of wine and topped off my glass.

“It was Silas who bought up her time,” Bridget told Mallory.

“What?” Mallory asked. She didn’t seem easily stunned, but this worked. “That’s really hot.”

The mention of him hurt. I shook my head. “He paid for me. It’s not that hot after all because it was about him wanting to give me money. Nothing more.”

“That’s not true,” Bridget countered softly.

I gave her a look and she didn’t say more because she knew I was right.

“It was Silas she got snowed in with at the inn,” Bridget reminded Mallory. “He went there because he’s totally in love with her and couldn’t handle her camming.”

“He’s not in love with me,” I said, but Mallory’s eyes lit up like Bridget told her she’d get free coffee for life.

“I heard! Oh my God, to be snowed in together?”

Clearly the two of them were talking about me as if I wasn’t in the room.

Bridget nodded. “Silas told Mav to wait two days to have the plows do the driveway. I think it’s romantic. How often could he be stuck somewhere with you with the perfect excuse not to be able to work?”

I looked at my paper jowl. “Wait. Silas really said not to send the plows?”

Bridget nodded, which made her push her glasses up.

Me and Silas being stuck together at the inn wasn’t orchestrated. He’d showed up like Bridget said because I’d riled him to the point of turning into a caveman, but he couldn’t have coordinated a snowstorm where we’d be stuck together, no matter how much money he had to throw at it. But he could force us to stay together longer without a way to leave. I was pretty sure Silas didn’t plan on licking chocolate sauce off my body either, although he may have fantasized about it.

I swiped at a tear, then another.

Bridget crawled over the pieces of paper strewn on the floor and hugged me. “What did he do?”

Mallory stayed quiet and stopped cutting turkey parts.

I sniffled. “He married me.”

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