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"Let's just say I learned early how to take a hit," Bear said, giving a mirthless chuckle. "But one day, when I was about sixteen, I found myself on the wrong side of a Mafia dispute. The Toscanos took me in, gave me a place to belong, and taught me how to fight back. I guess that was the first time it felt like I belonged somewhere."
Julian could see a hint of vulnerability behind Bear's eyes, something raw and unguarded that he had never witnessed before. "I get it," he said, his voice low and sincere. "Fitting in can be tough, especially when you're caught between two worlds. I mean, being a Toscano, you'd think I'd be a natural at this Mafia stuff, right? But I always felt like an outsider, even among my own people."
"Really?" Bear asked, his eyes searching Julian's face as if trying to find the truth behind his words. "You always seemed like the kind of person who can fit in anywhere."
"Appearances can be deceiving," Julian said with a wry grin.
"Guess we're both outsiders then," Bear said, simply.
Was there something tender in the way he looked at Julian? Or was it just wishful thinking? Julian looked down at his pie, and tried not to think about it.
Their conversation continued, punctuated by sips of bitter coffee and bites of warm, sweet pie. As they spoke, the barriers between them seemed to dissolve, leaving them exposed to each other in a way that felt both terrifying and exhilarating.
Julian's fingers traced the edge of his half-eaten pie, his thoughts drifting to the recent attempt on his life. Gathering his courage, he decided to bare yet another part of himself to Bear. "You know, when that gunman tried to kill me, I really was terrified," he admitted, his voice barely audible above the low hum of the diner. "I honestly thought that was it—that my life was over."
Bear's expression was as neutral as always, but there was something supportive in it. "What went through your head?"
"Regrets, mostly," Julian confessed, fiddling with his fork. "I realized that I hadn't really lived. Sure, I'd partied, but… there was so much more I wanted to do." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I'd spent all my life playing the clown trying to keep everyone at arm's reach… But just like that, I realized how lonely I am."
The admission hung heavily in the air between them, punctuated by the faint clinking of silverware in the background. Bear's expression softened even further, and Julian could see that his words had resonated with the older man.
There was a question that had been on Julian's mind for a while. "Have you ever thought about what you'd do if you left the Mafia?" he asked, his eyes searching Bear's face for any hint of emotion.
Bear leaned back in the booth, his hand absentmindedly stroking his stubbled chin. "Sometimes."
Julian's heart raced. "Really?"
"Everyone thinks about it at some time, kid. You wind up in some scary shit, and you start thinking about a way out." He gave Julian a knowing look. "You get tougher, and then you get over it."
Julian slumped back in his seat. "I don't think I'll ever get used to something like that."
The very corner of Bear's mouth ticked up into a small smile. "You'll surprise yourself. Now, finish your pie. We have places to be."
"Alright, you two," the waitress interrupted, setting down their check with a knowing wink. "Enjoy your evening."
"Thanks." Bear threw some bills onto the table, more than enough to cover their meal and leave a generous tip.
As they stepped outside, the cool night air embraced them, a stark contrast to the warmth that had been building inside. They walked to the car side by side, their shoulders occasionally brushing together, the strange new tension between them palpable.
"Where exactly are we headed?" Julian asked as Bear started the engine.
"Just another place to hunker down for the night," Bear replied, his voice low and steady. "Not too far from here. It's not a five star place, but it'll keep anyone off of our trail."
"Sounds good to me," Julian said, leaning back in the seat and watching Bear's profile as he drove. His heart continued to race, anticipation and desire coursing through him.
The drive was quiet, both men lost in their thoughts, but the silence was a comfortable one. It wasn't long before they pulled into the parking lot of a small motel with flickering neon lights. Bear parked the car and turned off the engine, glancing over at Julian with a mixture of uncertainty and determination.
"Here we are," he announced, stepping out of the car and grabbing their bags from the trunk.
Julian followed suit, his heartbeat quickening as they approached the door to their new hideout.
The dim glow of the new motel room's bedside lamp illuminated the space just enough for Julian to make out the worn, mismatched furniture. As Bear closed the door behind them, casting a tall shadow on the stained carpet, Julian took a moment to gather his thoughts. Their conversation at the diner had brought them closer, but it had also left him feeling exposed and vulnerable.
"Thanks for taking me there... I mean, to the diner," Julian said softly, his voice wavering slightly. "I didn't realize how much I needed something like that."
Bear merely grunted in response, setting their bags down by the door, his expression unreadable.
If Julian let this moment slip through his fingers, he knew it would be gone for good. The next morning, they'd be back to being the annoying Mafia heir and the long-suffering bodyguard, instead of two men who had opened up to each other over a 2am meal.
