AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Grace had filled his life with light and joy, and even hope, things that had been in short supply since he’d returned from the war.
Because of those precious gifts that she’d given him, he would have done anything for her in return.
Well, almost anything. Thursday, when he’d phoned to tell her he wouldn’t be able to attend her cousin’s wedding, she’d sounded so disappointed. He couldn’t blame her. Part of him felt like the world’s biggest heel for not going with her. After all, she’d been out to the farm on numerous occasions and had spent a considerable amount of time with his parents, particularly his mother.
Levi recalled a conversation he’d had with his mom just the other day.
“I like Grace, honey. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and she’s not one of those idiotic girls who has no sense. She’ll make a good wife and mother, and she fits right in here on the farm. You’d be a dunce if you let her get away,” Stella Gibson had declared.
Levi had smirked at her as he leaned against the kitchen counter, drinking a glass of sweetened iced tea. “Isn’t that basically what you said about Laurie? Look how that ended.”
His mother had swatted him with a damp dish towel and scowled. “I never once said Laurie would make a good wife or mother. I said she was pretty and would make beautiful babies. Don’t get smart with me, young man. You love Grace. I can see it on your face every time you mention her. You were never like this around Laurie. She did you a favor by breaking things off, that cruel ninny, because it left you free to find Grace. Your father and I both adore her, not that our opinions matter.”
Levi had set his glass in the sink, then kissed his mother’s cheek. “Your opinion does matter because if and when I do get around to marrying someone, they’ll likely be living here on the farm. It is important to me that you not despise my future wife.”
“Well, if you wise up and marry Grace, there won’t be a problem. I couldn’t love her anymore if she were my own daughter. Besides, she’s much prettier than Laurie ever was. She’s smart and witty, and the work she does means something, son. You won’t find another girl just like Grace anywhere.”
Levi knew his mother was right. Grace was one of a kind, and he’d likely never find anyone like her again.
It was because of how much he loved her that he hesitated to tell her his feelings, though. She was vibrant and full of life. He was battle-worn and damaged. She wanted to help save the world. He just wanted to escape from it.
Although he hadn’t mentioned it to Grace, one of the many reasons he had been so quick to move out of his parents’ home and into his own was because of his nightmares. Some nights he awakened screaming, drenched in sweat, thrashing around on the bed.
How could he subject Grace, or any woman, to that? What if he accidentally hit her or hurt her in his sleep? He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did.
Levi hadn’t returned to the farm the same innocent, stars-in-his-eyes boy he was when he left. He was a man who had seen too much pain and horror, and it haunted him, casting shadows across his soul and darkening the corners of his heart.
Because of that, because of his inability to look at his burned flesh and what was left of his hand without contempt and disgust, he knew he wasn’t whole. So how could a less-than-whole man expect to marry an amazing, incredible woman like Grace Marshall?
He couldn’t. That was the simple answer.
Yet, every time he thought about walking away from Grace, of never seeing her again, he felt sick inside. When he was with Grace, he could feel the light she brought into his life and heart, dispelling the lingering darkness.
Levi’s mom and dad had encouraged him to go with Grace for the weekend. To meet her parents and see the small town where she’d grown up. Levi had waffled back and forth about going or staying home so many times in the past week he’d nearly given himself whiplash.
As much as he wanted to go with her, he feared taking that next step in their relationship. Meeting her family and childhood friends meant something. Something monumental. Something that alluded to future plans.
Plans he had not yet reconciled himself to making.
In the end, he’d chickened out and told Grace he couldn’t go. He’d felt like a coward and the worst boyfriend in the world. All she’d asked of him, really the only thing she’d asked from him in their weeks together, was for him to go with her to the wedding.
And he’d let her down.
Plagued by guilt and burdened by the fear of losing her, Levi drove back to the house where he’d grown up, detouring on the way to dump the bucket of weeds into the burn pit.
When he stopped outside the big farmhouse, Spreckles barked and leaped off the porch, eager to greet him. The dog seemed to travel between his house and this one multiple times a day when she wasn’t following him around on the farm.
He used the toe of his irrigating boot to push down the kickstand on the motorbike, then swung his leg over. Spreckles jumped up, and he caught her, laughing as she tried to lick his face. Her wiggly warmth made him smile, despite the turmoil roiling within him.
“Why are you here?” his mother shouted at him from the front door she yanked open. “Shouldn’t you be on your way to Holiday?”
“Ma, I told you yesterday I wasn’t going.” Levi sighed and set the dog on her feet, then walked toward her. “It’s better this way.”
“Levi William Gibson, I did not raise you to be a coward. Grace has been nothing but kindness personified to you and to us. The least you can do is go to that wedding as her date. It’s rude and … and …” Too exasperated for words, Stella stamped both feet as she stood on the front door mat. “You hightail it home and change, and then head to Holiday. If you hurry, you’ll make it in time.”
“Ma! I’m not going, and that is final. Leave it alone!” Levi bellowed, losing the tenuous hold he had on his temper. He felt a release as his anger came out to play.
His mother wasn’t cowed in the least by his outburst, but it riled up his father who stepped outside drying his damp hands on a hand towel.
