AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I watch him disappear into the other room and I quickly wipe the tears from my eyes.
I just might hate myself more than I hate Knox Kingston. I destroyed him. I made sure that the two of us never stood a chance. He makes me weak, and I’m ashamed.
Chapter 3
Knox
“Fuck!” I slam my fist into the wall.
This isn’t at all what I had planned for my next interaction with Sophia. I left the house because I was stressed out. My dad called and pissed me off. When I came home in the middle of night and saw her car here, it’s like something inside of me snapped.
My mind immediately went to the worst-case scenario.
I adjust myself, because even though I just made it seem like I was fucking with her, what I really did was fuck myself. I’m hard as a rock right now, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
That woman is going to be the death of me, but I’m determined to savor every moment until my very last breath.
I don’t know why I did what I did tonight. It makes me feel sick to be anywhere near her, thinking about seeing her and my brother together, but I can’t stay away from her, no matter how hard I try. It amazes me that, even after all these years, I can still feel the same way I did about her back then. I still want her. I still want to be near her. Only now it’s going to be even more difficult to forget what I feel for her when she’s always around.
It’s like there’s a part of me that realizes I’m being irrational. Kai is in love with Ivy, and they’re pretty serious right now. He had no idea how I felt about Sophia seven years ago, he was just a kid. It’s not fair for me to be angry at either one of them. It’s not like I’ve ever let my feelings be known. Yet still, I take my anger out on her. I’m just as fucked up as my father, which is why I really hate myself. I can’t stop. I’m like a train wreck. I know what’s going to happen, but I’m frozen, watching everything go up in flames around me.
“Knox?” I hear Kinsley’s small voice before she flips the light on in the hallway. “Oh my God. Knox, are you okay?” She gestures towards the hole in the wall and the scrapes on my knuckles.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry if I woke you up.” I rub my other hand over the sore spot.
“You’re a terrible liar. It was Sophia, right? You ran into her before she could sneak out?”
My sister is wise beyond her years. I really don’t give her as much credit as I should. I think she’s known how I’ve felt about Sophia long before I ever did, and she was only eleven back then.
“It was Sophia, but she didn’t do anything wrong.” I hang my head in defeat.
“Oh, I know she didn’t. You’re just being an ass, as usual.”
My head flies up, my eyes wide. I can’t believe my baby sister just called me an ass.
“Don’t look so surprised. All three of you make the most ridiculous mistakes when it comes to women.” She scoffs.
“Oh, so you’re an expert now?” I raise my eyebrow.
“I’m an expert at being a woman, yes. Figuring out a relationship? Not so much.” She laughs.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh no, you’re not changing the subject. What happened?”
I watch her lean against the wall with her arms crossed. I run my hand through my hair.
“I’m still trying to punish her for things that happened in the past,” I admit.
“Oh, you mean like when she slept with Kai?” She shocks me with her knowledge of what went down all those years ago.
“How do you know about that?”
“You act like Sophia isn’t my friend. We talk. If you truly love her or care about her like I think you might, you have to let that go, Knox. If it’s not something you can let go, then leave her alone. You might not realize it, but you’re tearing her apart too. I don’t think that’s really what you want to do. You should talk to her. Sometimes communication goes a long way between two people.
Isn’t it though? Don’t I want to hurt her as much as she hurt me? Don’t I want to punish her until she feels just an ounce of the betrayal and heartache that I’ve felt for all these years?
“Thanks, Kins.” I decide against telling Kinsley that my intentions are just that, to punish Sophia for a past that can never be changed. I need to make her as miserable as I am, because let’s face it, misery loves company. If I can’t be happy with her, I don’t want her to be happy at all.
