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I slide my phone into my pocket with a sigh. Sometimes it’s hard to be the oldest sibling. I always feel this enormous pressure to make sure everyone is okay. It’s nearly impossible.
I find my car in the parking garage and pull out, putting Dad’s office in my rearview mirror. Even just a short conversation with my dad will have me on edge for the rest of the day.
When I pull up to the house, I don’t see a single car in the driveway. It seems like everyone in the house has something going on lately. I’m so used to being alone it doesn’t even bother me anymore.
I’ve just walked inside and hung my keys up, when my phone rings again.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Knox. It’s Dave Rigney. I was just wondering when you thought you might make another trip over here to the university? I’ve got a few things to discuss with you, but it seems better suited for a face-to-face chat.”
“I can be there tomorrow around nine. Does that work for you?” I mentally check through the things I have to do tomorrow, trying to figure out the best time to squeeze in a meeting.
“I’ll make it work. Thanks, Knox. See you soon.”
Like I said, it’s exhausting to be me. My dad is chomping at the bit for me to run his law firm when he finally decides to let the reins loose, but I’ve always gravitated more towards King University.
My grandfather was involved with the college before he passed, and he always told me it was the best for his soul. There’s just something about walking through those halls that makes me feel alive. I think about all the lives I can change there, and it does a lot more for me than thinking about being a lawyer.
If it weren’t for the fact that I handle everything involving the university, my father would have sold it years ago. He has no use for anything that involves the school, aside from the fact that it’s named after him.
“Knox?” I hear Kane’s voice travel through the house.
“I’m in here,” I call from the kitchen.
“How did it go with Dad today?” he asks, joining me at the kitchen table.
“Like every other visit with him. It’s exhausting.” I rub my temple with my fingers.
“Why do it then?”
He really is clueless. I wish I had the easy-going life that my brother has.
“If not me, then who?” I ask the age-old question.
He doesn’t respond, because there isn’t a good answer to the question. One of us had to bite the bullet for the rest of us, and it had to be me. That’s all there is to it. I’m the oldest. It’s my responsibility to protect my siblings.
“I hate to see you like this,” he admits.
“Like what?”
“Stressed out. You’re always stressed. I can see it in your face every day.” He frowns.
“I’m used to it now, Kane,” I assure him.
“Just because you’re used to it, doesn’t mean you should be,” he points out.
“Don’t worry about me, Kane.” I narrow my eyes, urging him to drop it.
I’m tired of having the same conversation with my siblings over and over again.
Kane leaves the room, finally taking the hint that the conversation is over. I walk upstairs to my office. I need to put my meeting tomorrow in my calendar before I let it slip my mind.
I walk into the room and immediately breathe a sigh of relief. My office is my comfort place. I like to come in here when I’m feeling stressed, shut the door, and just relax. Even if it’s only for a couple of minutes.
After adding the meeting into my calendar, I lean back in my chair and rub my temple. I’ve just been so exhausted lately.
I love my siblings more than anything in the world, but sometimes being alone in this giant house is just what I need.
