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“I see deaths. I see possible deaths. I see actual deaths,” he continues. “I see the fate of every person that ever lived unspooling before me.” His expression grows weary. “And I see them aging. I see them withering before my eyes. Everything withers.”
Oh. I remember reaching for him and how he’d panicked. How he’d hated when I touched him. “Do you see me dying?”
He nods, gaze averted. “You rot before my eyes.”
How horrible. “Is that why you don’t want me to touch you? Or why you avoid me?”
The Fate says nothing, but I know the answer anyhow. It’s obvious in the fragile set of his shoulders, the heartache written across his face. He’s so different from the other aspects of his persona. Is it because he’s the one that watches everyone die? No wonder the High Father split them.
I’m filled with curious sympathy and affection for him. He’s obviously miserable, and I can only imagine what it does to his mind. “Is there some way I can make you feel better?”
“No touching,” he says quickly, still not looking at me. “I cannot watch you wither. It hurts me too much.” The god shudders violently, his hands covering his eyes. “Cannot watch the one I love age and die before me…”
Oh.
Oh. At some point in the future, he loves me? My heart warms for this strange, lost man. I want to pull him to my breast and stroke his hair, comforting him. I want to touch him all over and give him the affection he’s clearly starving for. Why is it that the others are so detached when it comes to emotion and yet this one seem to be drowning in them?
I can feel just how lonely this Aspect of Fate is. It covers this chamber like a blanket. I sink to my knees in front of him, bowing my head. “I have given your other aspects comfort with my body,” I say in a low voice. “Can I not do the same for you?”
He lets out a ragged, pained groan of need even as he turns away. “Cannot look upon you. Not like this.”
Hmm. “Must you look?” I ask, curious. “What if you close your eyes, my lord?”
The god frowns mightily, and I cannot tell if he’s annoyed by my words or confused by them. “My…eyes?”
“Yes. Close them tight,” I instruct. “As if we are playing a game of hide and seek, like children do.” The moment I say the words, I feel like a fool. He wouldn’t know what children do. He has never been one. But maybe he has observed such things. “Have you seen children play such a game?” I prompt.
He continues to frown, and I feel foolish. Why in all the gods’ names am I practically begging this man—this stranger—to allow me to suck his cock? It’s ridiculous.
And yet…he clearly needs comfort and affection. And that is one of the things I truly excel at. Isn’t that my job here, after all? To offer myself to the Spidae and bring them peace? I should have guessed that they would have no idea what my service would truly entail. Even though he’s a god, I’m going to have to be the one that takes the lead. “Please close your eyes for me and keep them closed.”
Uneasy at my request, it takes a moment for the Spidae to do as I ask. His eyes flutter closed and then he tilts his face up, as if that will somehow enable him to see.
Takingin a quick breath, I decide to take a chance. I reach for his hand and clasp it gently in mine. “How does this feel?”
His frown returns, and with it, confusion.
“Am I withering?” I ask. “Is my touch unpleasant?”
Realization crosses his face, and with it, wonder. “You…”
“Feel good?” I guess, when his voice trails off and pleasure lights up his features. Like this, with joy on his face, the god goes from cold and remote to astonishingly handsome. I can’t help but smile in return, squeezing his hand. He practically clings to my fingers, clutching them in his grasp as if he doesn’t want to let go of me, ever. I skim my free hand down his robe-clad thigh, still kneeling in front of him. “And does this touch please you?”
The god nods, still lost in the wonder of the moment.
I slide my fingers toward his groin, cupping him in my hand. “And doesthistouch please you?”
He groans my name. “Yulenna…”
I shiver at the way he says my name, so hungry and full of longing. It makes me want to do more. So much more.“Should I stop, my lord?” I whisper, leaning forward and mouthing his hardening length through his robes. “I am your servant. Command me at your will. My goal is to please you and nothing more.”
“How?”
I love the hopeful note in his voice. This is where I can feel useful. This is where I can please my master. A curl of excitement unfurls in my belly, and I slide my hand up and down his thigh. “I can suck you.” I lean in, nuzzling against the tent growing under his robes. “I can make you feel so good with just my mouth and tongue.”
His breath catches, and I love how powerful it makes me feel.
“Would you like that?” I ask. “Or shall I leave you alone, my lord? Please tell me.”
