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And I don’t know if I’m convincing her or myself. Because the reality is that I’m utterly terrified…as much as I am resolute. I know this is the best path for me. A pretty face and a willing mouth only gets one so far, and both grow less appealing with age.
This is an opportunity not to be squandered.
Behind Faith, one of the Spidae extends his hand out to me in a silent invitation. The blue-eyed one. The dark-eyed one watches with a hungry, yearning sort of look, but he does not move, his hands tucked into his long sleeves. The other brother, the pale-eyed one, continues to toy with my braid, standing over me. I want to shout at him to step away, but one doesn’t shout at the gods. And if I go into this, I belong to him.
“If you’re sure,” Faith begins.
“I’m sure,” I say, my voice quavering. Am I trying to convince myself or her? But I take the pale hand extended out to me and step forward. The god’s grip is feverishly warm, but he clasps my hand in his and it doesn’t feel so terrible. We look like a study of contrast, he and I – me with dark, sun-warmed skin and chilled fingers, and him with burning skin and ice-cold looks. I say nothing as he draws me forward and then all three surround me.
I step forward into my new life.
Two
The tower swirlsaround me in a haze of mist, and my eyes unfocus. When they focus again, I’m in an entirely different place, a room covered in spiderwebs, but no door. There’s no window, either. It’s just shadowy and cool and remote.
A hint of terror curls in my belly.
The Spidae are still looming over me, the one toying with my braid as the other hovers far too close. The third one is behind me somewhere, but he’s not touching me, and for that I’m absurdly grateful. I can’t breathe. It’s too much too quick, and the fear I’ve been fighting bursts into full-blown panic.
“I…I need to say goodbye,” I blurt out. My thoughts have been so clouded and frantic with anxiety that I didn’t realize until just now that I’ve forgotten to say my goodbyes to the others. “You didn’t give me a chance.”
The god playing with my braid pulls the ribbon free, loosening my hair. “Your life with them is over. You belong to us, now.”
Of course I do. All my life, I’ve been traded as a commodity. I know how to cope with such sudden changes, too. I push aside my feelings, ingratiate myself with my new master, and handle it as best I can. But this isn’t one new master, it’s three. And it isn’t a regular sort of slaver or a brothel owner who now controls my life.
It’s a trio of gods.
I swallow hard, calming myself. They won’t ask for anything I haven’t given a dozen times over. All men and women are the same, when it comes down to reality. They want some touching and praise. They want to be made to feel powerful. I can give them those things. It’s just…
I think of Faith and her acerbic comments to Aron, who greets them with amusement instead of anger. I think of her kindness to me. She could have sent me away a dozen times over in a fit of jealousy. I think of Aron, who isn’t exactly kind, but who looked after me. He is a god, as well. He deserves a goodbye and my thanks. I think of Markos, who treated me like a lady even when he knew I was just a bed-slave. And I think of Solat, who has shining eyes and gentle hands, and has shared my bed recently, because I think I could get him to propose marriage to me and save me from a hellish future.
At the very least, I would like to let them know that they have been friends to me. “I would like to say goodbye if it’s not too much trouble,” I say again, keeping my voice as gentle and sweet as possible. “Please. It would mean a lot to me.”
The hand petting my hair twists into it, and he forcibly turns me to look at him. Those too-pale eyes devour my face, and he looks furious. “Do you want to continue on Aron’s quest or do you want to serve us? You cannot have both, female. Make your choice.”
Something shrivels inside me at his rage. Already I’ve made him furious. “I want to serve you. I do. I’m sorry.”
The blue-eyed one pushes his brother away. “Do not be jealous over her human lover, brother. That one has no future.”
Did I think it was possible to get even more freaked out? “What do you mean, no future?”
Blue eyes turns to me, holding his hand out. “I will show you, if you wish, but you will not like it. Now. Will you be our anchor or must we search the threads for a more suitable candidate?” Behind him, the gray-eyed one gives me an icy look, while the other with the creepy, dark eyes just watches.
I’m dizzy with everything that’s happening. It hasn’t even been five minutes and my life has been upended. Do I serve these possessive, jealous gods, or do I continue on with Faith and Aron and the others? Solat has no future. If fate is telling me that, it means he will die soon. And while part of me cries out in despair, the larger part of me, the survival instinct, knows that it’s just another path that I don’t get to take.
The way ahead is with these gods, and the safety they offer.
Licking my lips, I take the hand extended out to me. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I do want to be your anchor. This is just a lot of change. It takes a moment for me to work through it.”
He nods, and his hand is hot against mine. “If you would tie yourself to us, know that this will be your home forevermore. We do not leave the confines of this tower. We also do notshare. Is this understood?”
He’s telling me that they live in lonely isolation here and that they’re possessive…but I’ve figured that out already. Is he trying to scare me away? “I understand. I’ll be yours.”
Something hot crackles between our touch, and immediately, my knees go weak. His hand tightens on mine, and even as I sag in front of him, boneless and devoid of strength, he continues to clutch my hand.
“What does it feel like?” The gray-eyed one hisses to his brother.
“Pleasant,” says the other god, and he sounds surprised, as if this didn’t occur to him. “Like one thread is dedicated solely to you.”
