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"It's complicated," I say. "And I know you always warned me that Caleb and I wouldn't work, but Jesse...he's incredible, Doreen."
"Are you in love with him?"
It makes my eyes water to hear that question...but I'm confident in my answer.
"So much."
We both go silent, and I hear Doreen shuffling around, maybe getting out of bed, along with the telltale jingle of her dog's tags. "In which case, I have to ask--why are you really calling?"
"I think..." I chew on the answer for a second. "I think it feels too much like drugs. Can you be addicted to a person?"
Doreen is quiet.
Then shelaughs.
"No, Piper," she says. "You should be careful about co-dependency, but I've always taken you more for the type to run away than to get obsessed. Be cautious with yourself...but let yourself love. I'm proud of you."
"Really?"
"Really," she confirms. "You've come so far, Piper. You've overcome so much. Just keep checking in with yourself, make sure you're still making decisions for you, not for him."
"I will," I promise. "Thank you, Doreen. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You don't have to do anything without me," she says. "Call me anytime. You know that."
We say our goodbyes, and I'm left alone with my thoughts. Doreen's words help soothe some of my fears--but not all of them. What if I really am addicted to Jesse? What if this is all going to fall apart and I won't be able to handle it?
I try to shake off the negativity and reach for my phone again. I need to tell Jesse how I'm feeling, and I need to do it now. I don't want to keep anything from him, especially not if it's worrying us both.
So I pull up his contact and lie back on the bed, typing out a message.
You up?
I laugh to myself, feeling like a lovestruck teenager.
But he responds right away.Of course I am. Can't sleep when you're just a bedroom away.
My flesh heats at the idea of him lying shirtless in his bed just across the hallway...the forbidden notion of us being together here driving me wild.
I was just thinking about you, I text him back.Jesse...I really want to do this. I want to try with you for real.
Jesse's reply comes quickly, and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I read it.
I want that too, Piper. More than anything.
I smile to myself, feeling a weight lifting off my shoulders. Maybe Doreen was right--maybe I can love without getting addicted. Maybe I can have my happy ending with Jesse.
But then, just as quickly as the joy crept in, a new wave of fear takes its place. What if I'm not enough for him? What if he realizes I'm just a broken mess and he can't handle it?
I take a deep breath and type out my worries to Jesse.
What if this is all too much for you? What if I'm not enough?
His response is immediate.
Piper, you are more than enough. You are everything to me. And if this is too much, then we'll face it together. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel a lump form in my throat and tears prick at my eyes. I try to distract myself by changing the tone, reminding myself of that mental image of him in bed.
