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I lean forward. “It’s not?”
“No. Anyone would understand why you didn’t tell him. You’re working undercover right?”
“Yeah. Investigating his clinic and writing about it behind his back,” I point out in a dry tone.
“Yes,” Melissa says, “that is the definition of undercover work. But that’s not to say that your feelings are not real.”
I don’t bother pointing out that won’t mean crap to Jace. The one thing he treasures is honesty. He’ll say that I should have come clean when I started having feelings for him. That is if I ever did have feelings for him. He won’t believe that I did. If our roles were reversed, I’d be livid. I’d feel used and I would not want to see him ever again. How do you convince someone that your feelings are real when everything else is a lie?
“Let’s talk about something more cheerful,” I tell her with a sigh. “Did you talk to your cousin?”
“I did,” Melissa says. “After a few cocktails, Georgina was singing like a canary. There have been a few cases at the clinic but most have been settled out of court. I felt a little bad, to be honest. She trusted me and there I was plying her with alcohol to get her to dish out the dirt. I could never be a reporter.” She takes a sip. “You owe me a drink.”
Me and you both, I want to add. “It’s for the overall good of the patients. People need to know they need to be careful who they allow to perform these sensitive procedures.”
Melissa nods. “And you are the one checking them out. It’s the right thing to do.”
I’m growing impatient.
“You want to kick me to get on with it,” Melissa says with a grin. “Anyway, there was a case where the embryo was placed in the ovaries and the woman miscarried and almost lost her life. And another where the woman had a bad reaction to the anesthesia.”
“Oh no! Did she…?”
“No. They brought her out of it and took her to the ER just to be sure she was OK.”
“And was she?”
“Yeah. Fine.” Melissa brightened. “She had twins a year later.”
None of the stories Melissa tells me are scandalous or uncommon in fertility clinics. They are common mistakes that while emotionally and physically draining, are not permanently damaging. It seems entirely possible that there are no scandals at The Anderson Clinic apart from Ivy’s and that ended happily. Melissa excuses herself to go to the bathroom and I check my phone. Jace has texted.
Jace: Got an email from Adam. You actually turned down the job offer without even knowing what it was. It’s a writing job, Olivia.
Me: I figured as much but, Jace, I’m not looking for a job.
Jace: You will be in a few weeks.
Me: Look I appreciate that you mean well and you want to help but, Jace, I’m okay.
Jace: Are you too proud to accept my help?
I hesitate and then get an idea. Isn’t it better for him to think that I’m too proud to accept his help? It’s a lot better than the truth. It would be funny if the consequences weren’t so devastating. We’ll both be heartbroken after this.
Jace texts back a minute later when he figures I’m not going to reply to his question. I feel horrible. What must he think of me?
Jace: Okay. I don’t understand you but If you change your mind, let me know. I’ll ask him again. He owes me a favor.
Me: Thanks.
Melissa comes back carrying two cocktails and hands me one.
“I thought I was the one buying the drinks to say thank you for the work you did for me.” It didn’t yield much but it’s the thought that counts. More importantly, I’m glad to have Melissa back in my life and she did agree to let me follow her story to the very end and write about it.
We stay for two hours but for the last hour, I’m on water. We hug in the parking lot and promise to stay in touch. I go home and after a shower, I go straight to bed. I feel overwhelmed by everything. I pull up the duvet to my head like a child and bury myself in the bed.
Chapter 27: Jace
Without opening my eyes, I reach out to pull Olivia close to me. Her spot is empty. I remember that she went out with her friend Melissa and then went home to her apartment. It’s the first time in days that we’ve slept apart and it feels lousy to wake up alone in bed.
