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Don’t worry about that. I’ll come take care of you if you want me to. I’m going into my off days, so you can be stuck with me for four days.
Although his offer makes me smile, I can’t take him up on it.
Margot
No. I’m just going to go home and curl up into a ball. I’ll text you when I’m better.
Maybe once the bruises are gone, I’ll feel better about going on a date. Or maybe never.
Ray
Okay. I’m here if you need me.
I don’t bother responding. Instead, I turn on the faucet and pat my face with warm water to try and get some of the dried blood off. When I’m as clean as I can make myself, I leave the bathroom and walk right into a wall of muscle.
“Oomph,” I mumble, right before the pain from the collision hits me, and tears start to flow unchecked down my face. “Damn it, that hurts,” I cry and back away from the intruder. “What the hell?”
“Hey, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Jake mumbles and looks down at me.
His eyes bore into mine. Instantly, I’m transported to the last time I was in the hospital.
All the pain that I have been burying comes bursting forward.
A choked sob escapes my throat, and I don’t try to hide it. Jake grabs my arms, pulling me into his chest. The shock of him touching me is enough to drown out the pain from my injuries.
“Shh. I’m here, Lilly-girl. I’ll always be here.” His hands caress my back and move to the back of my neck, massaging the tension away while I cry into his body.
I don’t want to think about the fact that the paramedic who had helped me had called Jake ‘doll.’ I don’t want to push Jake away, but I know that somehow, I have to do what is right.
Just one more minute and I’ll push him away, but first I want the comfort. I want to be the same girl that Jake has taken care of my whole life.
I want to forget that anything bad has ever happened to me.
The only place I have ever felt safe is in his arms.
* * *
Seven Years Ago
I watched him climb out of his cruiser, the only part of his uniform incomplete being his hat, which he held in his hand. I stared at him for a minute, unable to move, let alone breathe. How had he known that I wanted to see him tonight? It was a big deal to me, but I swore my mom to secrecy about my feelings for the older man. Somehow, he hadn’t forgotten my eighteenth birthday, after all.
I listened as the doorbell rang and then heard the murmured voices. Jake was talking to my mom, but I couldn’t force myself to move away from the window. The charcoal-gray dress that I thought was a great idea when shopping for it suddenly felt like it wasn’t enough. My date said that I could wear whatever color I wanted and he would match his outfit to mine, but when I saw the dress, I knew I had to have it. Prom was a big deal, especially my senior prom. Still, all I wanted was to have one dance with Jake.
It wasn’t weird. He was there for me through everything. My first dance, the first time I broke up with a boyfriend, and every year on the anniversary of my father’s death he would pick me up at sunrise and we would spend hours just sitting at his headstone, telling stories of our lives from the past year.
Jake was my best friend, and I wanted to share tonight with him too.
I could hear their voices downstairs, his and my mom’s, but the words were muffled through the door. As quietly as I could, I opened my door and started tiptoeing down the hall so that I could hear their conversation.
“Jake, I’m worried about her. I don’t know what to do. She’s been pushing away from me recently.”
“Angela, you know it’s because she’s growing up. You’re her mom. You’ll always be her mom. She’s just got to grow up.”
“But she talks to you. I know she does. Is there anything else? Is there trouble I don’t know about?” My mom sounded like she was crying, and I felt a pang of regret for pushing her away as I got closer to my high school graduation.
“No. I’d tell you if there was, Angela.” His voice was gruff, and for a moment I got lost in it.
“Thank you, Jake. For protecting my Lilly-girl. For loving her like you do. For keeping your relationship innocent.” I didn’t want to hear any more of the conversation, so I made myself known by coughing.
