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“What am I going to do?”
I don’t know who I’m asking. I don’t expect an answer. I just… I don’t know what to do. What to say.
I’m lost.
“We’re going to wait for her to open her eyes.” Dad’s gruff voice breaks through the silent screaming in my head. “And when she does, you’re gonna love her. That’s all youcando.”
He’s wrong.
I already love her.
I always have.
But the steadybeep, beep, beepof the monitors on her body remind me that with every passing second the love of my life is drifting further away… and I might never get her back.
27
JAKE
Thirty fucking days.
Every bone in my body aches, and all I want to do is throw my phone across the room and smash my fist into a wall.
“Margot’s in a coma. Don’t you get that? They’re over here talking about the type of drugs they have her on and whether or not they’re doing anything to help. They’re talking about her like she’s not gonna come out of this. Asking Angela if she’s an organ donor or if it’s something that she’ll consider. I’m not giving up on her!” Although I started out relatively calm, by the time I’m finished, I’m practically screaming into the phone.
Not once in my thirty-something years have I ever raised my voice at my mother. “I get your concern, Mom. I really do. But Margot’s a fighter. That’s what she does. She’s in there right now, fighting through every single thing thrown at her. I know it. And she’s going to come back to me.”
Thirty days.
Thirty days and there’s been nothing but that damn beeping to remind me that Margot’s not alright.
The swelling in her head is gone, but she still hasn’t woken up.
She’s breathing on her own, but she hasn’t opened her eyes.
Every test.
Every scan.
Rigorous physical therapy to keep her muscles from atrophying. Changing and moving her around, to make sure that when Margot wakes up, that her body hasn’t betrayed her.
We’re doing everything they suggest.
All of it.
It’s all saying there’s no reason Margot isn’t awake and making my life a living hell for crying every single time I’m alone with her.
Honestly, though, who wouldn’t cry when faced with the fact that the woman he loves isn’t waking up?
“Come on, baby. I need you to wake up.” I’m pleading with her, just like I have every single minute of every day. “My mom’s becoming unbearable. Your mom is losing her mind, and I’m not sure if I can keep Maya from hitting you with something to wake you up.”
“I hate this damn hospital.” Brian knocks on the doorframe. “But I’m glad to see you’re talking to yourself as a way of coping.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I give him a half-hearted shrug. “What’s up. Why are you here?”
I shouldn’t have asked.
I know it as soon as the words leave my mouth because Brian’s expression goes blank.
