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No.
I wish I could smile at the absurdity of that thought. Mom would never break a promise or ignore the fact that I didn’t want to be saved if there was nothing left of the real me to live.
Jake.
He wouldn’t let her pull the plug on me even if she wanted to.
He’s fighting for me when I don’t have the strength to fight for myself.
And now that I have something to live for?
I don’t want him to give up.
I just can’t make my body respond.
“It’s time to get up.” Jake interrupts my thoughts, his voice clearer than it’s been since the fire. “I know you can hear me. I can see your eyes moving behind your lids, like you’re lost in the woods again and are looking for your own way out.”
I am.
“Silly Lilly-girl. I saved you then, and I’m going to be here every single day to save you as often as you need me to.”
My eyes are closed, but I can feel the tears building behind my lids.
“Stop hogging visiting hours, Jake.” Maya’s voice is there now too.
Why can’t I open my eyes?
“Share her.”
“Go away, Maya. Don’t you have something to plan?”
Maya’s gasp is almost enough to bring a smile to my frozen face. “Your murder, if you don’t keep your mouth shut.”
“See, Margot?” Jake’s breath caresses my cheek. “You’re missing too much. You need to open your eyes right now.”
Blink.
There.
I feel it.
Less than a flutter.
My eyes still don’t open, but I feel the movement.
It’s there.
Close.
So close.
Just a little bit more.
“Can I have a few minutes with my friend, Jake?” There’s something to Maya’s voice. Like she’s been crying.
He coughs, and then I’m missing his body heat.
“Yeah. I need to grab something to eat and check in with work.”
