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The nurse continues to chatter away and I tune her out, just keep my gaze on Brandi like I’m trying to imprint this moment deep into my bones, like this is our first moment as parents.
And with a jolt, I realize it is.
We’re going to look at our baby. See it move, know if we’re having a girl, I’ll have to lock her away until she’s thirty-five or a boy Brandi’s going to have to teach to be a gentleman because I failed at it. I’m being ridiculous, I know, but the future is suddenly there, all the possibilities shining bright and this is our moment.
A family.
For the first time.
For real.
Everything I didn’t know I wanted, with the woman who completes my every thought and moment.
The wand being moved over Brandi’s belly distracts me, and it takes me a few moments to understand that everything in the room has shifted.
The sudden squeeze on my fingers that’s not just nerves. The bounce leaving the nurse’s voice as she continues to chatter, but not to Brandi this time. The look that passes between her and the technician.
“What is it?” I push the words out and shift closer to Brandi, like that can shield her from whatever is happening. “Boy or girl?”
“Travis,” Brandi whispers brokenly.
The nurse’s smile slips, and then she hoists it back into place. She wipes Brandi’s belly and pulls down her shirt, but doesn’t tell her to get off the exam table. Now I’m pressed against my wife, her fingers so tight they’re white at the tips. I stroke my thumb over the top of them.
“I need to speak to the doctor for a moment. We’ll be back. Sit tight.” The bounce in her voice is so garish and fake that I know something’s wrong. But she’s gone in seconds, followed by the technician who doesn’t spare a look at us.
“It’s gonna be okay.” I find Brandi’s eyes and make the solemn promise that she’s going to be okay. Thatwe’regoing to be okay.
Brandi frowns. “You don’t know that. They—”
“Shit.” The words aren’t my finest, but I’m struggling to hold down my panic and hers. Whatever it is, her getting worked up isn’t good for the baby. “This is our first time with this, so maybe it’s normal. Unless there’s something you want to tell me… about your forty other kids?”
She blinks. “What—” Then her green eyes narrow and in the middle of her panic comes a small smile and it’s like a gift from the gods. “Ass. I’ve never been in this situation.”
“I’ll tell you a secret. Me, either.” I lean in and brush my fingers over her cheek with my free hand. “But you’re the only one I’d choose to do this with. Over and over again. It’s only you for me, baby.”
“Travis…”
“It’s gonna be okay.”
“I hope so.”
We hold hands and I stay as close as I can be, wishing like hell I’m right.
It’s like a small forever that we’re in the room, but finally the doctor and nurse come back in.
The doctor looks at the screen, and then kindly—too kindly—asks us to excuse them a few more minutes.
I’m about ready to lose my shit. I go for my phone, but it’s on the desk in the office part of the room. And Brandi’s cutting off the circulation to my fingers, and I’m pretty damn sure I’m squeezing her just as tight.
The doctor finally comes back just a few seconds later and I know whatever she has to say isn’t good. There are loads of issues that happen to women with pregnancy. And I know she’s going to say something about Brandi, how she’s in some kind of danger.
If I have to fucking put my wife in a bubble and hire twenty-four seven help for her, I will. Whatever she needs—whatever the baby needs, I’ll take care of.
For the first time in my life I’m grateful I have a shit ton of money just sitting in a trust uselessly. I’ll spend it all to keep them both safe.
“Mr. and Mrs. Masterson,” the doctor says in kind, even tones. The kind of voice that turns my blood cold. “I have some news.”
“Anything,” I say. “I don’t care about the cost. I can afford it. Anything you need to do, do it. Just—”
