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That suit went down the garbage shoot as I was leaving my apartment building.
This one’s a vibrant red with strings tying the top and bottom. The textured triangles provide enough coverage while the bottoms reveal a little more of my butt cheeks.
“I wish it was night time,” Char whispers as we walk towards the water, even though there’s no one within earshot.
“Why?” I ask.
“I haven’t skinny dipped in a while,” she says.
“Oh.” I chuckle awkwardly, knowing I’ve never skinny-dipped a day in my life. The closest I’ve gotten was at Lorenzo’s house, when I first met Larissa.
If it hadn’t been for him, that never would have happened.Isn’t that part of what drew me to him so intensely? His resolute belief in my ability to be free of inhibitions, to live in the moment, to be a badass?
I don’t need him for that.
Impulsively, I pull the string at my back, the cups sagging at my breasts. Once I untie the knot at my neck, I’ll be exposed.
Maybe I want to be.
I pull the second string, letting the top fall into the water. Char gapes at me when she realizes what I’ve done.
“Kate, what are you—”
“I’m tired of sinking. Of hiding myself. Of being afraid.” I step out of my bottoms, gathering the floating top and tossing them in the direction of our things on the grass.
I extend my arms and feel the sun heat the parts of myself I’ve never liberated. And it feels fucking fantastic.
“Fuck. Yes!” Char exclaims, pumping a fist in the air before removing her own black bikini. My breasts have always been fuller than hers, but her perky nipples seem as happy as mine do to be released.
I resist the urge to look around and see who’s watching us. We wade into the cool water, sinking into it at knee deep. Char can’t erase the impressed look on her face, to which I splash water in her direction.
“Why are you staring at me like an animal in a zoo?” I tease.
“Because you are! I love every part of you, but I think this new wild side might be my favorite,” she says.
“We should get drunk and streak the neighborhood,” I joke.
“We can get drunk tonight, but I’m not streaking in any neighborhood where my employer might see me,” she says.
I realize then that I wouldn’t care if Rowan, or Marco, or anyone I’ve ever known saw me right now. Taking off that bathing suit removed a layer of myself, the one that bogged me down and kept me small.
But I am big. I deserve to take up space. I don’t need anyone or anything.
I am free.
Chapter Eight
April 30th - Kate
ThelaketripwithChar was exactly what I needed. Once the high of skinny-dipping with my best friend wore off, we put our suits back on and laid out until the sun was setting. We didn’t get drunk that night, but we did have some daiquiris at the pool bar while we talked. It felt good to get back to some type of normalcy as my new and improved self.
I finished my last driving class yesterday, and as the Uber pulls up to my office, I can’t help but think how this will be one of the last times. Once I schedule and pass my test, I can buy a car and drive myself.
I’ve gotten comfortable at my new branch. The hallways no longer foreign. I toss my bag on my chair and head to the back table where I fill my mug with steaming coffee. I take a sip as I stroll back to my desk when the shock at the person I see nearly causes me to spill the hot liquid all over me.
Santi?
I rush to my seat and place the mug down so haphazardly that droplets splosh out, wetting my mouse and keyboard. I ignore the mess, focusing on Santi speaking with one of the workers from IT, who seems to be showing him to a desk. My heart races with the implication.
