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“When I returned and saw you were still here… I was so fucking grateful.”
“Grateful?”
“You have every right to never want to see my face again. But you’re here. And I know why.”
I search his eyes, which are filled with that strong emotion I’m afraid to name.
“We always knew what we felt, didn’t we, princess?”
I give him a watery smile, my lips trembling with the tears I’m trying to keep at bay. I don’t succeed.
“What are you trying to say?” I press.
“I’ve been in love with you since before I could comprehend it. It didn’t truly dawn on me until you left the party with Char. After you knew.”
Goosebumps erupt over my skin, both from his confession and the memory.
“But I could never truly appreciate it because Icouldn’tlove you.”
“Because I’m not capable of loving you properly.”
“I wanted to be your boyfriend ever since the night we shared at Rowan’s. But I fought myself tooth and nail. Every encounter we shared was a sin, because I was risking you. And you didn’t even know it. I was selfish.”
“Lorenzo—”
He holds up a finger. “Let me finish.”
I snap my jaw shut and stare at him.
“There is no heaven or hell where I deserve you. You were upfront, and honest, and vulnerable from the start. Certainly more vulnerable than me. But if you would please give me a chance, I will prove to you everything that you mean to me.”
“I already said—”
“You were always blinded by your feelings for me. My father was right about one thing—I was blinded by emotions, too. If I had known what taking you into that guest bedroom would do to me, I never would have risked it. But something happened that night… something I worked so hard against. And yet, I couldn’t stay away from you. I didn’twantto. And that’s my biggest sin yet.”
It’s hard to care that he did implicate me in any of this because I love all the moments we spent together. If I were in his shoes, I’m not sure I could have resisted, either. I didn’t resist even when I knew all along something was very wrong.
“I… I’m not saying I trust you. But I want to try,” I say quietly.
“I want to make sure that you know where I stand, clear as crystal. I won’t put you through any of that ever again.”
“I believe you,” I say breathlessly. No part of me can deny the truth in it right now. My eyes roam over him, drinking in what seems to be a changed man. When my eyes land on the nearly full moon etched into his skin, I snap my eyes to his.
“When did you get the tattoo?”
He lets out a breath. “That’s a story. You might get mad, but I don’t care. No more lies. No more secrets.”
My stomach drops; what in the world now?
“After you wouldn’t answer my texts, and you stopped going to work, I was a mess. You know,” he pauses with a sudden thought. “You said I succeeded, that I ruined you. But what you don’t realize is you ruined me, too. You changed my entire world, the way I saw everything. By the time you were gone, I didn’t know how to go on without you.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“The best kind of ruin. I’d let you ruin me over and over and over again.”
Butterflies take flight in my stomach. My heart skips a beat. I don’t need to breathe because my lungs are full of the purest air. Every one of those clichés is happening to me, and I desperately need to kiss him.
When I lean in, he raises a finger.
