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I headed back to the guest bedroom and packed up my stuff, getting ready to go. My eyes caught a yellow and black book spine under some papers on the desk as I was zipping up my duffel bag, and I couldn’t help but get curious.
A smile tugged at my lips when I saw what it was.
Dating for Dummies.
I picked up the book, leafing through some of the pages. It had standard advice, like “put yourself out there” and “make sure to compliment people,” all of the good stuff. One of the pieces of advice was to “try new things,” which struck me as particularly funny.
Nathan sure as hell was trying new things in life lately.
As I flipped to the front of the book I noticed a sticky note, the same blue color as the one that I’d just seen in the kitchen. The note had a date at the top from about three months ago, and was clearly a written exercise he’d followed from the book.
Exercise 3: Ideal Qualities in a Romantic Partner
-Smart
-Kind
-Great sense of humor
-Independent but affectionate
-Bonus points for: enjoying athletic activities, liking classic rock
My heart squeezed a little in my chest as I read the note, all written in Nathan’s handwriting. “You fucking cute ass motherfucker,” I said out loud again, shaking my head.
Just then my phone buzzed. A text from Vivienne.
>>Vivienne: The guys are going to be there for the new security system install in about an hour. I’m at your place—will you be back?
I shot her a quick text back.
>>Kace: Be there in a few.
As I walked out of Nathan’s house, my eyes lingered on a bunch of photos hanging on the hallway walls. Nathan had clearly been a hottie when he was younger, but I was convinced he only looked better now, with his hair just starting to get grey.
I brushed my fingers over the countless photos of him with his family, which was clearly big. They seemed close, from what I could tell in the photos. There were plenty of photos with what looked like his parents and siblings, and also plenty more with other friends and extended family.
My chest ached slightly, behind my sternum. It was always bittersweet to see people with big, happy, supportive families.
I missed talking to my mom and siblings, no matter how pissed I was at them. I missed our family gatherings and hangouts. I missed Christmas and Thanksgiving, and the way that even though Mom never seemed to be able to get the frosting on the sugar cookies just right, they were always the best cookies I’d ever had.
Everything we used to share together. The person I used to be. I missed having a close family, and it seemed like that was exactly what Nathan had. A big, accepting family full of people that were there for each other, regardless of people’s orientations.
I clenched my jaw. Fuck it. I was living my best life now—true to myself, successful, and happy.
That had to be worth it.
I headed to the front door. Nathan had left another sticky note telling me where the spare key was outside, and I locked up outside. The front of the house was just as cute as the inside, with planters full of various flowers. The soil had been freshly mulched, and a couple of orange-winged butterflies floated past me as I headed out to my car.
I resisted the urge to snap a photo of the pretty front yard for my Instagram followers. The world didn’t need to know about the night I’d had last night. And I sure as shit wasn’t going to breach Nathan’s privacy.
Maybe that was another reason I’d felt at home instantly last night, walking into Nathan’s house.
It felt like home. A home that I was still welcomed in, rather than being barred from. A home where I could be myself. Where I wasn’t Kace Tomlin, the superstar with the camera-ready personality, house, and body. I was just plainmeagain.
And Nathan seemed to like every version of me.
* * *
