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“To put it bluntly, Ranna’s first love was her career,” I said with a shrug. “I delayed my general contractor licensing to take care of Maddy for a few years while Ranna was in law school. I felt more like a live-in babysitter than a husband.”
“Rough.”
“Very,” I said. “Ranna is a great mom. Always has been. But as a partner, for me, she was just… cold. We were divorced pretty quickly once she finished law school, and that was that.”
Kace reached a hand out, brushing his fingertips along my forearm. “And your whole life became a mission to be the best dad for Maddy, huh?”
I nodded, swallowing. “Bingo. I have a lot of pride about starting Fixer Brothers with Shawn, but so much more pride about the person Maddy is becoming. Ranna thinks I don’t do enough. Don’t force Maddy to practice piano enough, don’t take her to enough events around town, don’t ask her about her homework a hundred times a night. I let her play video games and eat sugary cereal, which Ranna truly hates.”
He nodded. “I get it now. She’s one of those fierce-as-fuck almond moms.”
I quirked my head to the side. “Almondmoms? What the hell is that?”
He grinned. “I forget you’re not online all the time like I am,” he said. “Almond moms are just the term for mothers who sort of expect perfection from their kids. Usually when it comes to eating healthy food, but also other parts of life, too.”
“Well, if Ranna’s an almond mom, I’m definitely an every-aisle-at-the-candy-store dad, I guess,” I said. “I don’t try to be the ‘good cop,’ or anything, but sometimes my daughter just needs abreak, you know?”
Kace whistled, turning his head and looking into the backyard for a moment. He dropped his hand from where it had been resting against my forearm, and I missed his touch immediately.
“Damn if I don’t know what that feels like,” he muttered softly.
I furrowed my brow. “Did you have one of these so-called almond moms, too?”
“More like homophobic, conservative mom and nonexistent dad,” he said, his face darkening as he looked past the windows. “But we don’t have to talk about that.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Are you kidding me?” I said. “You coax me into being vulnerable and talking about feelings and my past, and you won’t even tell me about your recent history?”
He shrugged one shoulder, the newly dark expression on his face making me wish I could erase whatever memories were plaguing him. “What more is there to know? My mom didn’t accept me from the moment I came out, and my brother and sister went along with her. They still don’t talk to me. But I’m going to live my life, loud and proud, regardless of their opinions. Simple.”
Kace seemed like such a larger-than-life figure. A true adult, even though he’d only technically been an adult for a few years. But it struck me that just a handful of years ago, he had been a lost teenager, still in the closet, and probably in a storm of pain knowing that his family would never accept his truth.
I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry, Kace.”
“No worries, bro,” he said. For once I didn’t tease him for calling mebro. “For so long, it seemed like I was going to be the star at the center of my family. Not only was I great at throwing a football, I was good enough to go pro. Shatteredthatfucking illusion the moment I told them I was gay, though. My mom actually threw up shortly after I told her. Not even dry heaved. Full-onpukedbecause I was that disgusting to her.”
My heart ached in my chest. Instinctively, I reached out to grab Kace’s hand, squeezing it. “You’re so fucking far from disgusting.”
He puffed out a sad laugh. “I know. I’m hot as hell.”
“And so modest.” I smiled gently, still holding his hand.
The air between us still felt charged, like we’d entered new territory. I was acutely aware of how his hand felt in mine, so much bigger than any hand I’d ever held before.
“Maddy thinks you like me,” Kace murmured, holding my gaze.
I felt a heat creep up to my cheeks. “She just thinks I’m starstruck,” I said, trying to play it off. But my heart had started beating a little faster.
“Are you?” Kace asked. “Starstruck?”
How was I supposed to respond to him when he was looking at me like that? With eyes that could melt me in two seconds flat, and that seemed to know me better than I knew myself?
I breathed deep, suddenly in the hot seat again, in a different way than before. “I was at first,” I said. “Now it’s changed, a bit.”
“Now you realize I’m just some weird dude who happens to be good at football?” he joked.
I shook my head. “I’m still starstruck, but I’m also a little more… comfortable. A little more confident around you. And also really, really scared, sometimes.”
“Oh, now I have a million questions.”
