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“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t know, either.”
“Clearly you knew enough to tell Charlie and Jax,” he said. “God. I thought you might have been doing drugs with Kace, or something. You were acting all shady, that day you were here early with no car.”
I furrowed my brow. “Excuse me?”
Shawn shrugged animatedly, his eyes going wide. “You were so fucking weird with him,” he protested. “Sneaking around, pretending your car was getting detailed, always texting him.”
“He thought it was either cocaine or maybe some strange psychedelics,” Charlie offered.
“You thought I would be doing drugs?”
“I mean, Kace is famous,” Shawn said. “Famous people do wild things.”
I let out a sigh, rubbing at my temples. “I’m sorry, guys.”
Shawn wrapped his arms around me in a quick, tight hug. “I’m mad Charlie knew before me, but I know exactly how hard it is to admit something new to yourself and the people around you. I thought it was hard for me coming out in my twenties, and you’re a fucking old man.”
I snickered at his comment. “Not that old, according to Kace. He seems to really like the salt-and-pepper in my hair, you know.”
“Jesus Christ, you bagged Kace Tomlin,” Charlie said as he came over to give me a hug too. “You’re the luckiest motherfucker in the world, Nathan.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I said. “I’m pretty sure I just insulted him by breaking off a kiss when you guys showed up.”
Charlie stepped back. “Go. Go get him. Right now. I couldn’t live with the idea that I was the one who ruined your chances with Kace.”
My head was a frenzied mess. “I don’t even know if therearechances. I want him—and I think he wants me—but I don’t know how any of this works. I don’t know if a guy like him wants more than a hookup, and I sure as hell don’t know if he would want that with me.”
“Just go be you,” Shawn said simply. “That’s all you can ever do, right?”
I nodded, swallowing hard. “Right.”
“Then off you go,” Charlie said, giving me a little push. “Go, go!”
I headed off toward the house again, adrenaline the only thing making my legs move forward. I felt like the weight of a thousand worlds was off my shoulders now, and I’d just finally told the truth to the people closest to me.
I knew I might be about to lose Kace. I may have already lost him.
But I could beme.
The real me. Finally. A version of me that had been hiding like a gem covered in silt, just waiting for the right person to brush it off and reveal what was always below. Kace was exactly the kind of person who could do that—who could work the best little secrets out of anyone, and could make people feel like their true selves were something to be celebrated.
Right now, I just wanted to celebratehim.
When I found Kace again, he was standing right by the pool, illuminated by its blue glow. He had just chugged a beer. Even though he was surrounded by friends, he still looked miserable, and none of them seemed to notice or care. It nearly broke me, seeing him like that, so not like himself. He was in pain, and at least part of it had to have been my fault.
I needed him to know that I cared.
Even when everyone else just expected him to be the token charming, hot, famous guy.
Even when his family was hell-bent on denouncing him.
My heartbeat was like a drum in my chest as I approached him, the rippling water of the pool shimmering against his skin. The camera crew was right there, the cameras pointed at Kace, actively filming.
I stepped in.
Kace pulled in a long breath, turning to his friends. “Can we get just a second, guys?” he asked before turning to the TV crew. “Cameras off for a sec, okay?”
“Kace,” I said.
