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I open it to find a sandwich.
"Where did you find this?" I say around a large mouthful.
He rolls his eyes. "I’m a Montavio. I can find food anywhere."
I eat, grateful for the sustenance. I sigh when the food hits my belly. It feels good.
After a moment of silence, Sergio speaks quietly. "Gloria tells me she tried to get you to go back to Boston. When you refused, I thought it was time for me to check the thirty-seven texts on my phone and the voicemails from Marialena."
Uh oh. Here we go. He knows now. What kind of lovely denial is he going to come up with? I look over at him and give him what I hope is a piercing stare. I'm sure it's nothing as intimidating as his, but I want him to know I mean business.
"I did not leave one marriage, where I was hurt, abused, and taken advantage of, to go into another relationship of half-truths and lies. I know who I am. And I'm trying to make progress. You told me once that I deserved to be treasured. You told me that Seth didn't deserve me." I hold his gaze and speak my truth out loud. "Do you?"
I can feel the passion in his eyes as he stares at me, as if his very soul is on full display.
"Of course I fucking don't," he says, in a husky voice. "But it doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.”
He reaches for my hand and holds it in his—in both of his much larger, much rougher ones. “I want you to see something. Actually, no. It will be better if you hear it.” Still holding my hand in his left hand, he takes out a cell phone and presses a button.
A deep, rich voice I'm vaguely familiar with fills the room. "That's Romeo."
Ah.
"This is an official statement from the Rossi family officially ending the betrothal of Sergio Montavio. We will no longer proceed with the planned nuptials. Sergio withdraws."
It sounds as if it's a business transaction, or some legal proceeding that would take place in a court of law.
"Why didn't you tell me you were engaged?"
"Because it didn't mean to me what you think it would. It was a business transaction that I decided to end, but I didn't want to put this on Romeo when he was dealing with Mario. His brother was hurt, and he had to be by his side. I had no intention of ever getting married. Then I fell in love with you, Eden. I didn't know love was possible. I never was going to get married, and I sure as hell never anticipated my supposed betrothed would come up here and cause such a scene."
I want to believe him. Why can’t I?
"You were never married, Eden. I wasn't either. I'm asking you if we can start over, put this behind us. Start again. I'm sorry. I am so sorry that you doubted my devotion to you for even a second.” He squeezes my hand. “I will spend the rest of my life making that up to you."
I don’t know what it’s like being really, truly, devoted to someone when I've spent my life being told lies about what devotion truly was. That it meant self-sacrifice, the denial of my own needs, and an acceptance of half-truths about who I am.
That it meant making myself small.
Maybe… maybe it doesn’t have to.
Maybe devotion means love, and loyalty, and unwavering commitment, no matter how challenging that is.
I look at my sister, lying peacefully in bed.
I look at the still-angry lacerations on Sergio’s arms.
Maybe devotion means sometimes making hard decisions.
I think of Sergio saving Mario’s life.
Maybe devotion means doing the impossible for someone else.
And maybe sometimes devotion means sayingI’m sorry, I’ll do better.
Because in the end, we’re all human. We will all make mistakes. But if I love him and he loves me, we come back to this place. This place of forgiveness… of wholeness.
I lay my head on his shoulder.
